I Did That

Chicken and Dumplings

2012-02-13T12:51:00.002-06:00

Eh.
It was good, but not our taste. Before I tell you why, let me tell you what it is.
I found a pin with a recipe for Chicken and Dumplings...in the crock pot! Well, what good southern wife doesn't make chicken and dumplings for her hubby? I gathered my ingredients and wrassled my giant crock pot out of the cabinet it resides in. I started dumping everything in before I realized I only had 1 of the 2 cans of cream of chicken that the recipe calls for. I did have a can of broccoli cheese soup, so I used that. It gave the dish an interesting touch.
The chicken was very tasty and very tender, but the dumplings just weren't for us. I prefer Cracker Barrel dumplings! Plus, using canned soups adds a lot of extra sodium. Neither of use like a lot of salt, so it was a bit much.
I may make chicken using the recipe, but with my own cream soup base and without the dumplings. That way it would be low-carb too. I think it would be pretty similar to my grandmother's chicken stew recipe then. Hm...maybe that will be on the menu next week!

Alpha Gamma Delta and me

2012-02-11T19:56:00.000-06:00

This doesn't actually have anything to do with what I found on Pinterest, but I want to do it anyway. So there.
Today I went back to my college, the University of Montevallo, for an Alpha Gam reunion. This has been in the works for a while, but I didn't ever think I'd actually go for several reasons. Most of it was thinking I hadn't done anything much to be proud of...my pride.
I'm so glad I went! Nobody cared what my job is, where my house is, or how expensive my car is. They don't care that I am divorced and remarried or that I don't have any children of my own.
We were all just so happy to see each other and to hear that everyone is happy and successful in their own ways. We spent some of the best days of our lives together and will always have a special bond.

Here are some things I learned today:
1. I am now a "Ma'am."
2. I am middle-aged.
3. Three flights of stairs never get easier.
4. Taking risks are usually well worth the risk.
5. Old friends are always friends.
6. I can still fit into my jersey, but it sure doesn't look the same!
7. Alpha Gam WILL always be a part of me.

Slow Cooker Cilantro Lime Chicken

2012-02-09T18:08:00.000-06:00

Yum!!!
I've been trying to cook only healthy foods lately. In fact, I've diagnosed myself as insulin resistant and I've cut WAY back on the carbs, especially bad carbs - more on that later. I've scoured Pinterest for recipes that would satisfy my family.
This recipe from Pipandebby was easy to prepare, easy to find foods to go with it, and impressive to everyone at the table. I cooked some spanish rice for everyone else, sliced some avocado, and served low fat refried beans with it.
It had a kick to it, but not too much. The flavor cooked all the way through the chicken (which doesn't always happen) and there was plenty of sauce left to pour over the rice and beans. The cool and creamy avocado was a great compliment to the spicy chicken.

Valentine Decor

2012-02-09T10:36:00.001-06:00

I saw this pin in December and couldn't wait for it to be Valentine's Day! I love the simplicity of it and the use of color. It is so sweet and whimsical.

I have a lot of empty glass bottles and already had the bamboo skewers, but I wanted to use some cute milk bottles that I found in the Target dollar section a couple of year ago. I bought felt (4 for $1.00) at Hobby Lobby and cut out 4 hearts from each color. I broke the skewers into different lengths and glued a heart to each side of the skewers. I think I like the hearts in the original picture better, but they look stuffed and sewn. My way was much easier!

My Hearts!

Positive Thinking Thursday

2012-02-09T09:19:00.002-06:00

That's Thursday's new name. Now that I've decided to blog about my Pinterest addiction, I've had some thoughts. Wanna hear them? Hear we go...

I saw this quote on TechCrunch:

"Pinterest... where hot fitness models frolic among travel dreams and crockpot recipes."

Ha! It's true! It is easy to feel inferior or unproductive when you spend so much time looking at all the fabulous things other people are making/cooking/doing/going/being. I don't know that I've ever consciously looked at Pinterest and felt bad, but maybe I have. I tend to see it as more of a motivator or inspiration. I've seen a lot of health and beauty tips that I've tried and loved. I've found recipes that made healthy eating taste a lot better in this house. It has been a way for me to share my creative side with people all over. I love it!
Obviously, I'm not the only one who loves it. Pinterest has more than 10 million unique visitors each month now!

So, on this first POSITIVE THINKING THURSDAY of mine, what do you have to share with the world? What would your hallmark pin be? We've all got something that the world needs to see! What's yours?

A new FAVORITE!

2012-02-08T09:01:00.000-06:00

I found this recipe on Pinterest and i piqued my interest. This blog is so cute too! Anyway, I've decided that I am insulin resistant, which is also called pre-diabetic. Scary! My mother is diabetic and so was her mother. I'm going to break the cycle and be healthier! Anyway, this recipe fit right into my plan.
I did break a few of her rules. I didn't have fresh basil, so I used dry Italian basil. I'm sure fresh Thai basil would be even tastier. I also used already ground chicken. I think I'd like it better starting with whole chicken breasts, but it was so much easier the way I did it. I also didn't have Thai chiles, so I used jalapeno instead.

K and I both like it. I LOVED it! I was easy, filling, and healthy. I think I will make this often. I may try out some other ways to use the basic form of this recipe with different flavors. Maybe I'll try a Mexican theme next time. K can have it in a taco or burrito form and I'll have it over spinach again.

Cajun Kale Chips

2012-02-08T08:45:00.001-06:00

So, I've heard for a while that kale is a superfood. To me, that means it tastes funny and is too expensive. Well, I found a recipe for Kale that included the word Cajun, so I decided to give it a shot. I used Old Bay Seasoning because it's what my Grandpa would have used! That smell reminds me of childhood in Slidell! Tony Chachere's would be good too! I plan to try other flavors now too. Maybe a greek seasoning or asian seasoning?

And I'm so glad I did! It tasted wonderful and was actually pretty filling. My favorite pieces were the ones that had gotten completely crispy. I baked mine for 10 minutes because I didn't want to burn it, but I think I will bake it a bit longer next time so it's all crispy.

Kale is now permanently on my grocery list!

Arnold Palmer Cake

2012-02-07T06:57:00.002-06:00

My Mom's birthday is in July. This year, i wanted to be the one to make her cake. She loves fruity desserts, especially lemon, so when I found this recipe, I knew it was a winner!

This cake was a hit with Mom and everyone else! I want to find a way to get more of the sweet tea flavor in the frosting though. Maybe I'll start with more tea and cook it down a little longer.

The recipe didn't say that it needed to be refrigerated (because of the filling) and I didn't think about it until it was too late. I was VERY sad to have to toss what was left.

I would make this again! It's a great summer treat!

Mom can't have candles with her oxygen, so she blew out her lemon!

Washing my face with oil

2012-02-04T20:26:00.000-06:00

I wrote a post about being a natural woman a while back. This pin from Pinterest is part of that inspiration. Well, I've been washing my face with oil for almost 3 months now and the results are fantastic! I've mixed 1 part olive oil with 1 part castor oil and it seems just right for my skin. During really cold weeks, I've needed a little more olive oil to keep my skin from feeling dry. Everyone once in a while I'll use Skin Rever-Upper from Bare Minerals to keep it smooth.
I smooth the oil on my face while my shower is warming up. I get a washcloth hot and lay it over my face for about a minute. I then rinse the washcloth and lightly wipe/scrub my face to remove the oil. It feels great and works well.
I was keeping it in a baby food jar on my counter until a trip to Honduras in December. Those suckers don't seal up so well in the luggage, apparently. While we were in a third world country, I didn't really have access to olive oil and castor oil so I washed my face with bar soap. My skin broke out like never before. I decided to use Cetaphil after we got back in hopes that it would clear up. NOPE! As soon as I went back to my oil mixture, my skin started behaving itself again. I don't think I'll ever use another facewash again!

Picnik can't go!

2012-02-04T20:11:00.004-06:00

I used Picnik with my 5th graders in the photography and scrapbooking club and they loved it. I was familiar with the ability to edit photos using the website, but I didn't know it could make stuff like this.

I'll be making as many of these as I can until Picnik closes in April. What else do I need to make?

After April, I will see what this pin has to offer!

My Dishes

2012-02-04T19:58:00.003-06:00

When K and I got married, we both already had a lot of household items. When it was time to register, there were some things that we wanted to start over with but not a whole lot that we needed. Our fabulous friends both have these dishes and are also distributors for the company. We knew we needed them because we want the WORD to be the center of our marriage. We love them and use them as our every day dishes. It's always nice to have a reminder of some of God's promises.

Shrimp Recipe

2012-02-04T18:01:00.002-06:00

I LOVE shrimp! It can be cooked quickly and in a variety of ways. They are pretty healthy too. I'm always looking for new ways to use shrimp in our meals. One of the recipes I found on Pinterest was for cilantro lime shrimp. Ok, so i thought it was a recipe! I pinned it and clicked on it later when I was ready to make my grocery list. I was so sad to find that it wasn't a link, but just a lonely picture. I googled several recipes for cilantro lime shrimp and didn't find anything with that picture. I just used what I found and created my own. I left out the peanuts and didn't grill it, so I guess it's just Cilantro Lime Shrimp.

Ingredients:
2 tsp olive oil
1 lb peeled and deveined shrimp
1 lime
3/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
2 cloves garlic
salt and pepper
***My husband doesn't like a lot of cilantro or garlic. These amounts can be adjusted according to your taste.

Directions:
Salt and pepper raw shrimp. Squeeze all lime juice over the shrimp in a shallow dish and let sit room temperature for about 10 minutes. While it sits, warm olive oil in fry pan over medium heat. Saute garlic until it begins to brown. Add shrimp and cilantro and cook until shrimp are pink. Serve over wilted spinach, buttered linguine (not as healthy), or rice.

See, EASY!

Oven Baked Fries

2012-02-04T17:42:00.002-06:00

I've decided to cut way back on the carbs for weight-loss and other health reasons, but when I want to treat myself to potatoes, these will happen again! I pinned the recipe thinking that it would be a good go-to and I was right! I followed the recipe, but it wasn't really specific about how big to make the pieces. I cut them too thin, I think. They over cooked a bit. I'd made the pieces bigger next time, but do every thing else the same.

Tarte Mascara

2012-01-27T14:13:00.000-06:00

This stuff is amazing!

I'm a mascara junkie. I thought I'd found my favorite several times before. I had finally settled on a waterproof kind and used several tubes of it. While doing some Christmas shopping, I found a set from Tarte at Ulta. I had used Tarte products before and liked them, so I bought the set to get the cheek stain. Well, this mascara is life changing! I LOVE IT!!! I doubt I will every use anything else. It adds volume to my lashes without looking clumpy. It doesn't run or form circles under my eyes by the end of the day and it doesn't come off until I was it off.

Blueberry Cupcakes

2012-01-27T14:04:00.001-06:00

This is the first Pinterest recipe I ever tried and they were WONDERFUL!
We had picked fresh blueberries at my in-laws' house and I wanted to use as many of them as I could while they were still fresh. I would make these again and again! They are a bit time consuming and take a lot of work, but they are worth it for a special occasion.

2012-01-27T13:57:00.002-06:00

One of the first pins I tried was this one from an etsy store.

I already had a few candle sticks of my own that didn't match my new decor. I also had the paint already, so I just painted what I had with acrylic paint. i bought 2 candlesticks at Hobby Lobby while they were 50% off, so I spent about $9 on this project. Here are my candlesticks!

I may try to make a few more in a couple of other colors. I've added a lime green candle to the turquoise stick and a gold one to the plum stick. I've used them with all of mantle decorations and they make me smile every time I look at them!

I'll be a blogger...

2012-01-27T13:48:00.000-06:00

So, I've decided that blogging is the thing for me!
I've mentioned before that I love crafting and cooking and trying new ways of doing each. When I was working full time, I didn't have time to try very much. I've got the time now and I'd like to help others out who may not have the time.
I've recently become addicted to pinterest. I know, who hasn't? I've tried several things that I've found there - recipes, organization tips, craft ideas, products, etc. I figured I could share what I've tried with my friends and family and anyone else who may stumble upon my blog.
I know there are a lot of blogs like this out there, but why not do one myself?

Stay tuned...In the mean time, you can see the pins that I've tried here!

Natural Woman

2011-11-14T17:12:00.001-06:00

I'm way too young to have as many aches and pains as I've got. I'm sure weight gain and some disc issues in my spine are to blame, but it seems like there is something more going on. I just don't feel healthy. I've surmised that the things that go into and onto my body, including what I breathe in, could have something to do with that. What's the solution?
I'm thinking NATURAL! Not hippie granola natural, but non-chemical homemade kind of natural. I know there are natural options, but they are usually expensive. Saving money has always been a desire, but maybe going natural has even more benefit. Have you ever read the labels on your cleaning products and beauty products? I can't pronounce most of it!
I've seen a lot about going shampoo-free on the internet. My initial reaction was, "Gross! These people are crazy!" But, with further investigation, it sounds like something I would like to try. Most people claim that their hair is healthier and easier to manage. My hair tends to be flat and breaks easily at the ends. Maybe 'poo free is for me!
I've also found recipes for laundry detergent, deodorant, and lipstick. I also found something about washing your face with oil...unreal! I plan to start trying homemade as I run out of store-bought products. I'll let you know how it goes!
My hope is that I will feel better, save money, and be healthier!
Now, I think I'll go clean out my pantry!

Daily Emails

2011-11-14T13:12:00.001-06:00

On November 1st I noticed several posts on facebook that showed what people are thankful for. I liked the idea and was encouraged and reminded to be grateful for the things in my life. The area of my life that I have been most focused on lately is my marriage. So, I decided I would take each day to think of another reason I am thankful for my husband. Rather than posting this on FB for all the world to see, I decided to email him every day. He thanked me for the sweet email on the first day, but hasn't said much since. To be honest, I had hoped he would be inspired to reply to each email or say something when he got home from work. But, he hasn't. I would be disappointed, but his response has been even better than what I expected. He's been sweeter, more attentive, and even more romantic! He even took us away for the weekend!

Since November is just about half-way over, I've started thinking about how to continue this exchange. Maybe a different theme for every month? Here's what I have so far.

I'm hoping I can commit to this all year! I can only imagine how God will use this to grow our relationship!

Baby Food Jars

2011-11-02T07:40:00.000-05:00

Since I've been keeping my friends' baby, I've had a LOT of baby food jars around the house. I decided to take some ideas from Pinterest and adapt them for all of these jars. Here is a Thanksgiving decoration I made.

Pinterest Button Tree

2011-10-02T15:42:00.000-05:00

I found a cute button Christmas Tree on Pinterest. I used some buttons, ribbon, and styrofoam I had in the craft supplies and made one of my own. I love how it turned out! My next one will be all white.

My Mantle

2011-10-02T15:37:00.000-05:00

I used some ideas from Pinterest to finish my mantle. I love it! But now I want to decorate it for fall. I just can't bring myself to change it now that I've got it how I wanted it.

These blue Ball Jars were my husband's grandmother's.

I found these ball jars at an antique store in Winfield. i painted the candle sticks that I had found at the dollar store and Hobby Lobby. i need more candles!

I'm happy with it :)

Decorating For Fall!

2011-10-02T15:32:00.000-05:00

I love fall decorations! I found Michael's foam pumpkins on sale for 40% off, a pumpkin I had spray painted last fall, an old apple crate, and a few other things to put together this little display just outside my door!

Pinterest has ruined my blogging

2011-09-13T19:35:00.000-05:00

I love Pinterest!!!
Ok?
I spend most of my online time working on my craft blog or on Pinterest. It is truly amazing and I can't even explain it.
I've tried several things that I've found on Pinterest, so I've decided to blog about that.
Look out...

Long Break

2011-03-19T15:55:00.000-05:00

I haven't knitted much and all I've made has been for school (other than a couple of wreaths for the holidays that have passed), but I've been busy being creative!

I've been researching education reform for several months now and things are really starting to come together for me. I'm so excited to see what can be done right now!!! My students are already responding well to the few things I've tried. It has had its moments where first graders are creatures of habit, but they are also curious and excitable little people who want to have fun. We've had so much fun!

We are about to start a unit on Community. I'm starting from the most natural point for young children - they are going to teach each other about themselves. Then we will move all the way out to their role in the global community. This fits right in with what I'm so excited about.

Can't wait to get started!

Creative Saturday

2011-01-29T19:30:00.005-06:00

I've got a cold, but the beautiful weather after all these dreary weeks inspired me!

I used branches I found on the sidewalk in Soho to make a necklace tree.

I used a fun plate and and candlestick I already had to

make an earring "thingy".

Valentine Wreath

2011-01-29T19:27:00.003-06:00

I made this with cupcake wrappers and a wreath form and ribbon from the dollar store! Oh, and a button I already had.

More Christmas Decor

2011-01-10T19:35:00.003-06:00

The mantle and a magazine tree I made!

My First Knitting Project

2011-01-10T19:34:00.002-06:00

My Yarn Christmas Wreath

2011-01-10T19:32:00.001-06:00

Loved it!

My Newest Hobby...

2011-01-10T17:06:00.002-06:00

I'm teaching myself to knit! I've learned the knit stitch and purl stitch and how to make flowers. I'm trying a new pattern with double knits and yarn overs and a bunch of craziness. That might not be my thing!

Here is my first

scarf! I gave it to my Mom.

Jumped ahead to Valentine's Day!

2011-01-10T17:01:00.002-06:00

I went ahead and made this little wreath since we had a "snow" day!

Center Piece for Christmas

2010-11-30T21:54:00.004-06:00

I've been given the job for creating a centerpiece for a table at my church's Christmas banquet. The theme is "we are busy busy busy and broke broke broke." We are going with shabby chic/rustic/cheap bling styles.

I went the the thrift store today and bought a silver platter, pretty white plate, crackled glass thing, and a plant stand. I got $6 worth of silver ornaments at Target. Here is where I am with it so far...not sure I'll use everything. (Squirrel the cat thinks it is interesting).

Frame for the mantel

2010-11-08T21:06:00.003-06:00

I saw some frames similar to this at Christmas Village and made my own. I like it! I think I'll add them to my "for sale" blog!

Photography Challenge!

2010-11-05T08:17:00.004-05:00

I'm using my iPhone, but Kristi at Life Through the Lens is a real photographer! I love her challenges, so I decided to try it. 2 of the challenges were shape and something you can't live with out. I combined the 2 into this...

I cant' live without the other half of my heart. And I really like the heart shape that 2 hands make. Challenge complete!

And here is a quote I love...sums it up for me!

"The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, educations, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before." -Deiter F. Uchtdorf

Happy Friday!

Ideas!

2010-11-04T19:05:00.009-05:00

I went to Christmas Village and took pictures of things I love and I might be able to make! Now, if only I could find an endless supply of time and money. And I need a silhouette machine!

I think this one was a mirror, but it looks see-through in the picture. I love it!

This one is beautiful! I almost bought it. It was very reasonable and I'm not sure I can make i

t for less, but I may try. I might tweak the idea a little. I can't wait to get started!

This is one of those "Duh" things. Hand sanitizer bottles with cute vinyl stickers. Saw the soap pumps done this way too.

Cute! What else can I do this with?

Jewelry holder! I need one of these!

I WANT TO MAKE STUFF!!!!!

I Made My Wreath

2010-11-01T20:58:00.005-05:00

I'm excited about this project...trendy burlap, fun rosettes, and my multi-purpose chalkboard M!

I plan to use the M for several holidays. Can't wait!

This was my inspiration...

Crafty food

2010-11-01T20:30:00.005-05:00

I like making cute food! I just wish it was better for me.

Little Batty Cheese Balls

Theses are supposed to be Monster Eyes...oops!

Carved a Pumpkin

2010-10-25T20:46:00.003-05:00

I'm doing a pumpkin project with my class this week. Today we measured the height and circumference of our pumpkin. We counted the lines and estimated how many seeds were in him. Then we gutted him! We are going to count our seeds when they dry. While the kids were gone, I carved the pumpkin. I tried to make an owl, but part of his head fell off...I tried to put him back together with a paperclip and this is what I got...

And I really love his stem!

I made this...

2010-10-24T21:45:00.003-05:00

Golden milk chocolate cake balls for Halloween! I was proud of my creative display. I poke the sticks into a small wreath form and wrapped a big bow around it. It was fun!

2010-10-17T22:39:00.002-05:00

I'm so ready to start the crafting! This time of year always gets the creative/homemaker juices flowing. I played with the mantel today. I like the hodge-podge look, but I'm not sure I keep it from being too hodgey or podgey!

Here are some other ideas I'd like to get started on soon...

I've already practiced making the cute rosettes!

Crafty

2010-10-11T21:50:00.001-05:00

I want to be crafty. The beginning of the holiday season and fall festivities bring out the crafting geek in me. I want to make stuff!

OK...now that I've let that out. I'm making a Hobby Lobby list as week speak :)

I hope to have some fun things to share soon!

The New Mandee

2010-03-03T07:17:00.002-06:00

I haven't written in a long time. Not here, not in my journal, not anywhere. I've been so busy with so many good things, but I'm afraid my busy-ness is eliminating some other very good things from my life.
Since 2006, I earned my masters degree, got an amazing teaching job, and gained a husband and a few daughters along with him! I'm happier than I've ever been with my life right now. I love my job. I love my husband. I love my girls. But I'm too busy!
I want to be the best I can be at all of the roles I now have, but I'm afraid I'm not so good at any of them. I'm worn out! My goal for my blog this year is to learn to focus on what is most important and that is my relationship with God. Without Him, I am nothing. He loves my husband and children through me. He teaches and nurtures my students through me. He takes care of my parents through me.
Lord, emerse me in Your Holy Spirit. Break my heart and make it Yours. Create in me a clean heart and help me to be the best woman I can be FOR YOU!

Honduras

2006-07-21T13:40:00.000-05:00

In less that 24 hours, I will be flying to Tegucigalpa, Honduras for an 8-day mission trip with some of my church family. I can't tell you all of the emotions going on in me right now, but I can try...anxious excitement, a little fear, awe that God would use me, and a little nervousness because I'm not sure that I'm prepared.
I just want to get out of His way and let Him work through me!
So, a prayer would be nice. I hope to have some posts about my trip!
Be Blessed!

Long time...

2006-03-01T15:10:00.000-06:00

No post!
I have been so busy! School is going really well. This week is midterm week and I have all A's as of right now! I don't think that has happened since 2nd grade...pray I can keep it up. I got the thrid hightest grade in the class on my history test and he even used my essay as the example of what a good essay should look like...I'm so exctied! Yes, I've become a nerd and I like it!
Spiritually, I'm feeling good right now. Not content or fully satisfied...but I feel like I'm pointed in a better direction than I was a couple of weeks ago. (I know that nobody outside of my head can follow this post...its really for me). I feel like I'm maturing and I've been able to look back recently at ways that I've really grown in the last 2 years.
Speaking of 2 years...Ken and I have been together 2 years now. I can't believe it. It seems longer than that, but like it hasn't been that long all at the same time. He just had a birthday...it was a nice day. The girls came over for dinner and stuff, so it was just the kind of thing he likes.
I think I'm done rambling for right now. I'll do some homework...
BE BLESSED...I AM!

2006

2006-01-03T15:57:00.000-06:00

Well, this year should be interesting. I will be starting graduate school in 6 days...yeah, just 6 days. I'm scared and excited and terrified and anxious and sleepy already.
I'm trying to remember some of 2005...something interesting from each month...
January: I went to a State Supreme Court Induction...that was pretty interesting and exciting for a family friend. And I went to Chuck. E. Cheese that month...and I got my digital camera!
February: Won a chilli cook-off. Lot's of babies born...my cousin had twins, friends at church had twins, and my best friend had precious Cody. My nephew got married too. I also started a Bible Study with some other women that really healed me.
March: My first threaputic massage for my back! Went to visit my church parents, HC and Bonnie. Started physical therapy for my back. Attended the Lads to Leaders conference with my church.
April: Helped with a lock-in at Whitney's school...that's when I started thinking about how great it would be to be a teacher.
May: Some very dear friends from church left. Talked to my sister about some difficult things and then talked to my parents. Went camping for my birthday.
June: Went to JINO and got a taste for mission work. Mom and Dad celebrated 40 years of marriage.
July: CACY Camp...where I taught a Bible Class and realized that I may have a gift for teaching children...also learned that I love elementary aged chilren. Ken went to Honduras with Jennifer and Amber and other folks from church. Alexis was born! Celebrated Mom's 60the birthday!
August: Visited Ang and Cody in Clarksville. Met with the Dean of the Department of Education at UM. Hurricane Katrina changed lives in my family.
September: Spent a lot of time with afformentioned family because they stayed here after the hurricane. Saw the Lion King with Mom at the Birminghma Broadway Series.
October: Went roller skating. Met with my advisor to plan my schedule for school. Started working out regularly (and I've kept it up).
November: Went to Clarksville to visit Ang and Cody again. Went to the dentist for the first time in a while. Registered for classes. Experienced my first Crazy Chicks Christmas Party with my Aunt from New Orleans.
December: Several Holidy activities - Church Banquet, Lifewalk party, Program at church, Bible Study cookie baking...Spent a lot of time with my family and Ken's family and enjoyed the true meaning of Christmas.
I was truly blessed this past year. I hope not only to be blessed again this coming year, but to be a blessing! And may God bless you this year as well...HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Question

2005-11-22T13:28:00.000-06:00

What are those things that football players have started tying around their arms just above the elbow? Anyone know?

Because I can't think of anything to write...

2005-11-08T13:36:00.000-06:00

Here's how it works. When you are tagged you must post 10 interesting and little known facts about yourself. Then tag 5-10 of your blog buddies!Here are my little known and interesting facts:
1. I am obsessed with watching The Biggest Loser
2. I cry a lot...not just for sad reasons.
3. I'm starting to love my freckles
4. I really wish I was a Pop Princess
5. I don't think many people really know me
6. I miss being on the radio
7. I'm scared to death of becoming a teacher
8. I dance ALL THE TIME when people aren't watching
9. Sometimes I miss being the party girl...not because I want to be that kind of person again, but because people enjoyed being around me and I was never bored.
10. I'm afraid of NOT being just like everyone else.

I'm tagging: Sheila, Khris, Sarah, Jan, and the next person to read this.

Tag!

2005-11-07T09:04:00.000-06:00

The rules:
1. Delve into your blog archive.
2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions. Ponder it for meaning, subtext or hidden agendas.
5. Tag five people to do the same.

Of course, my 23rd blog had only 4 sentences, so here is the 1st sentence of my 24th blog...

"Fun with fridge magnets!"

I know...very exciting!
So, now I tag...Jan, Sarah, and the next 3 people who stumlbe upon my blog! Let me know when you've done it!

OK, so it's been a while!

2005-10-18T12:55:00.000-05:00

I've been busy...
Things have really settled down since the Hurricane. Dear Ken kept 7 of my relatives in his home for over a week. My aunt and 2 cousins from Slidell are still at my parents' house...they should be able to go home by the first of the year. Other family members are staying with relatives near New Orleans so that they can be there to coordinating the restoration of their homes. The rest of them are back at home and doing as well as can be expected. I still don't have any news about the Outreach Center. I'm anxious to know, but scared to find out about the people in the community.
Mom has been having a rough time health wise. She had another seizure just a couple of weeks ago. Her Dr. says that the scar tissue from her brain tumor caused it. But in the mean time, we found out that she has another tumor at the front of her brain. Apparently, the doctors knew about it and they have been monitoring it for the past 3 years. They say it hasn't grown or changed, but I'm very bothered that they never told us about it. She also found out about a few other more minor problems that they have treated with medication and she seems to be doing better. Her personality seems to have even gone back to the way it used to be.
I've been working out almost daily for three weeks now. I'm staring to feel pretty good, but I'm wondering when I'm going to start dropping pounds! My main reason for doing this is to be fit and healthy, but I'm also looking forward to the superficial rewards! I'm even thinking about getting a personal trainer to help me reach my optimum potential!
I've also been hard at work to get back in school. I receive my bachelor's almost 5 years ago and I'm going back for my master's in elementary education. I meet with my advisor this afternoon to find out more! I'm so excited and terrified at the same time! This is really a leap of faith for me. I honestly have no idea how I will pay for it or even have time for it with work and everything, but I feel like this is it...this is what God has called me to do. And He will guide my steps and provide what I need. HE's just so awesome that way!
I feel like I'm forgetting something...is that everything?
Oh yeah...I have a new assistant at work! Its so nice to have help, but I'm having a hard time sharing my space and resources right now. It will get better once her office is completed though. I'm just glad that we are making progress!
Maybe that's it...am I forgetting anything? I have no idea!

Devastation

2005-08-31T17:14:00.000-05:00

I don't really have words for it yet...Katrina.
Most people reading this know that my family is in New Orleans. Most of the have been accounted for, but a few are still unreachable. I believe that everyone is ok in my family, but their stuff is not. It is just stuff.
Grandpa's house is probably gone. He built it when I was just a baby. I grew up in that house. Grandpa died about 4 years ago...that's what we had left. We still have the memories.
So many of the places that those memories took place are gone. New Orleans and much of the North Shore are gone.
I wish I knew what to do right now.
I keep crying and praying and then crying some more.
I keep thinking of the people at the Bywater Outreach Center where I worked at JINO. Those people had no money to get out of the city. Their neighborhood is gone. I hope they still have their lives. They have no insurance, no money to rebuild. I want to know where my new little friend, Jacori, is. I want to know that she is safe.
God be with those people.

I'm a Different Book of the Bible Now

2005-08-10T09:40:00.000-05:00

You are Ephesians.

Which book of the Bible are you?
brought to you by

What If God Read My Blog?

2005-08-08T10:10:00.000-05:00

I'm feeling kind of far away from Him right now. I'm not totally sure why...just am.
But I was thinking, 'What if God read my blog?' What would I write differently? What topics would I have avoided? What words would I have chosen differently?
I must say that knowing that my church friends are reading this blog does hold me accountable. For instance, when I'm really angry and I want to rant and rave, I hold back and keep myself in check because I know they will be reading. When I want to use this site for gossip, I think about them seeing it. When I want to talk about really shallow and sometimes inappropriate things, I think of what they would see here. My church friends read my blog.
God reads my blog too.
But He doesn't just read my blog. He reads my email too...not just the ones I send. He also reads the ones I receive and should delete, but read them and laugh anyway. He reads the ones I send when I'm mad or just plain wrong. He hears my phone calls, He see my thoughts, He knows everything about me...intimately.
This is a very basic truth that we all learn as little bitty kids. God, like Santa, knows when we've been bad or good (so be good for goodness sake). Why is it so hard for me to remember these things?

When I am far way, He comes nearer.
When I'm hiding, He is watching even more intently.
When I'm lonely, He is more present than before.
When I'm bad, He is witness to it.
When I'm wrong, He knows it.
When I lie, He is still the Truth.

God, are You reading this? You understand what I mean...why don't I?

Oh, and God...thanks for reading!

Offer My Suffering?!?

2005-08-01T09:56:00.000-05:00

Has anyone ever told you to offer your suffering up to God? If I've heard it once, I've heard it a thousand times...especially growing up in Catholic school. But what does it mean? How can I make it make sense and then actually use it in my life?
I'm wanting to really find that out. Not that I'm suffering in any serious way right now, but I want to learn to offer all of my complaints to My Father.
All through the New Testament, we are reminded that in our personal sufferings, we are sharing in the sufferings of Jesus Christ. This should be an honor. How am I supposed to see any kind of suffering or pain as an honor? The human part of me says, "Are you crazy? Suffering sucks! Find something to numb the pain and get away from it."
But the Bible tell me to delight in it. Now, I've got all of this information in my head. How do I put it into action? I can tell you that I personally just said a little prayer,

God, I don't like to suffer. I really want to be happy and pain free my
whole life. But I know that this is not possible because the world is
evil. It is because of the work of Satan that I now suffer. I
consider it joy to suffer because I know You and through knowing You intimately,
I recognize evil and it causes me sadness. Father, I offer my hardships to
You. I give You my heart to mold and strengthen through these
difficulties. I know that You are preparing me for something greater and I
trust You to get me through this. I love You, Lord and I know You are with
me during all of the difficult moments of my life. Amen

It may not make a whole lot of sense to you, but it changed my attitude and
gave me relief from my worries. I feel much better about all of the
situations that were dragging me down. It doesn't mean that I suddenly
have a new job or have all the answers to life's relentless questions, but I do
have peace in Jesus.

MAN ON A MISSION trip

2005-07-21T17:02:00.000-05:00

So, Ken and about 12 other CrossBridge memebers left for a mission trip to Honduras yesterday. They drove to Nashville and then got up at the crack of dawn this morning to hop a plane to Miami which then took them to Tegucigalpa, Honduras.

I miss him already.

I had no idea I would be so sad to see him go. Honestly, I was looking forward to having so much time to myself because I knew that I had a lot to do. But now I'm sad. I miss having him to call with good news and bad news and every kind of news in between. I miss knowing that I would have dinner with him. I miss praying with him. I just miss him!

I'M SUCH A CHICK!!!

I know that what he and the rest of the people are doing is a great thing. From what I understand, this trip will change him (I'm sure in a good way). But I can't help but worry about their safety in that country and in travel. Hearing about the attempted bombings in London didn't help things at all. I'm a worrier too.

So...please pray with me for the group's safety, for the people of Honduras, and most of all for God's will to be done through this trip. I know God is looking down on them and using them and protecting them. He is faithful!

Miss Mandee

2005-07-15T08:59:00.000-05:00

You would think that a week at camp in the middle of the summer would be miserable. You would think that sleeping in a cabin for a week with 13 5th and 6th grade girls would nearly kill me. You would think that hearing "Miiiiiss Maaaaandeeeeeee" 1,875 times a day would wear me out.

I LOVE CAMP !!!!!

I had such a great time that I wish I could make a career of it! My girls were the bestest and the sweetest. I cried when I told them goodbye, but the tears went away shortly after I got home and the emails started coming. They loved me too! I can't wait to see them all again. I'm planning on visiting their churches and taking them all to a Baron's game soon :)
All of this kids stuff is making me think. Don't worry, this isn't a post about baby fever. Anyone who has read my blog has been made fully aware that I am not so pleases with my job. Why not children's ministry?? I think I'd be good at it. I could make a difference! I could learn so much from them. I could give of myself in a way that I know matters. I'm so eager to learn how I can do this. I'm also considering school...maybe become a school counselor. There is a program at Montevallo that would allow me to get my teaching certificate and my Master in Counseling Education relatively quickly. I'm trying to learn more about Southeastern Bible College too.
So...pray for this to happen! I feel like I'm really learning what I'm supposed to be doing with my life now.

Sad News

2005-06-28T13:12:00.000-05:00

A coworker of mine just found out that his 20-year-old daughter was killed in a car accident this morning. My frist reaction was to reach out to him; to do something to take away the pain and the panic. But there isn't anything I can do for him right now. God has to take care of him.
Times like this make you really think about your values. What is really important? Does it really matter if I have a nice car? Does it really matter if Ken notices that I've had 1/16th of an inch trimmed off of my hair? Does it really matter what size I wear?
If I were to be gone tomorrow I don't think I care about any of those things. If a loved one was gone tomorrow I don't think I would care about any of those things. Do the people around me know how much they mean to me? Have a made a Kingdom difference?
What is your regret if tomorrow never comes? I want to do something about mine.

God, please help me to see what really matters. Take away any pride or selfishness
I have and make my heart new. I want to live to appreciate the Joy You have blessed me with. I want to live like tomorrow isn't coming...no regrets. Thank you for my life and my loved ones. I pray in your Son's name, Jesus Christ my Savior! Amen

No More

2005-06-27T09:36:00.000-05:00

I will not be negative anymore. I will not mope. I will not complain. This is it...I'm turning over a new leaf (actually, I'm turning an old leaf back over). I used to be known for my ability to find a silver lining around the darkest cloud; for finding the good in the worst; and for staying optimistic when the cards were stacked against me.

My how things have changed.

I'm so negative these days.
"Hi Mandee, how are you today?"
"My life sucks...and you?"

That's no good! Not fun, not enjoyable, not the way a Christian shows Jesus to anyone! So, I'm going to make the JOY OF THE LORD my strength because NOBODY FILLS MY HEART LIKE JESUS. Those are 2 of the songs we sang a church yesterday. Quite perfect for me.

So, this blog is now a negative free zone!

Welcome back, me!

That's Why We Pray

2005-06-03T15:07:00.000-05:00

Prayer is powerful.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just thought I would say so. I'm about to be gone for a week. I'm going with my church youth group to JINO (Jesus in New Orleans). I'm really looking forward to it, but I'm also really nervous. I used to go to New Orleans for quite the oposite reason. This is a new experience for me. My first mission trip! I'm also a little nervous about being responsible for other peoples' teenagers for an entire week. I know what I did down there at that age and I don't want any of them to have any part of it!
I'm a little nervous about the work I will be doing too. What if I'm not good at this? Ok, I know God will provide us with everything we need, but I can't help it. Its nervous excitement, I guess.
Anyway...hope you're having a great week!

Vacation - All I Ever Wanted

2005-06-01T13:59:00.000-05:00

I have had that song stuck in my head all day. I had a 5-day weekend and now I'm back. At work. At this desk. Working. Yuck.
I really needed the time off. I needed the time with Ken and my family and the kids, but it makes it so much harder to face this place again!
I spent a lot of time with the people I love doing the things I enjoy for my birthday weekend. It was nice, but probably one of the most sedate birthdays I have ever had. Up until this year, I have spent the month of May making sure everyone knew it was my birthday month. Why is 26 so much less exciting? I'm almost disappointed in myself.
I'm not disappointed in anyone else. In fact, everyone that loves me did what they normally would for my birthday and it was quite lovely! In fact, Amber gave me a painting she did of a boot...her very first piece that her art teacher didn't touch and its mine!!! I can't tell you how much that means to me :)
So, anyway...great weekend, not so happy to get back here. But my attitude is different. I'm feeling more secure and settled now. I'm sure God's got much more work to do on me now though. That was the whole point of this...I got my attitude adjustment. :)
Such a rambler...

What Book of the Bible Are You?

2005-05-25T15:26:00.000-05:00

I am Psalms. And for some reason the cute little graphic and explanation that go with this won't work :(

Which book of the Bible are you?
brought to you by

Its all in the 'tude

2005-05-23T11:08:00.000-05:00

Ok, I'm sure my unhappiness/anxiety has been evident in the last couple of posts. I have decided that I'm going to be happy and content and show the Joy of the Lord! It's time.
There are some things that have to change. I haven't decided how much or what I'm going to change yet, I just know that something has to change.
The first thing to change will be my attitude. My attitude has been BAD...soooooo BAD. I don't know how anyone can stand being around me. I'm distant and sulky and just plain yuck! Shame on me for putting everyone around me through that!
The next thing I am going to change is my mission. I can't keep waiting for it to happen, I have to happen to it and in it. The time is now and I can't ignore God's calling anymore. I won't.
Then I'm going to change the Kingdom. I'm not saying that I can change the world...the world is lost and full of sin. But I can change the Kingdom...maybe God will use me to help just one more soul...if we all let God use us to get one more, we would double the size! How cool would that be? It's like the biggest 'bring a friend day' ever!
So I'm rambling and probably not making much sense. Please hold me accountable...I want to make these changes soon! Now!

Spit

2005-05-17T10:03:00.000-05:00

Have you ever heard the phrase, 'I'm so mad I could spit?' I'm going to spit...I understand the phrase now.
Trust is a big thing with me. I can be too trusting of other people on a superficial level. But if I'm going to let you into my life in an intimate way, its hard for me to trust you. Its even hard for me to trust God sometimes...trust is HUGE!
My trust has been betrayed by a family member and it is so hurtful. I'm angry and sad and disappointed and even a little guilty for ever trusting that what I say in confidence would be kept in confidence. I feel naive and silly. And spittin' mad.
But what do I do? The Bible says I should confront those that I am upset with so that I don't let it build up before forgiving them. But how do I do that without screaming and yelling right now? I don't think I can.
Please pray for me to say the right things and to be forgiving.

Thinking

2005-05-13T13:19:00.000-05:00

I don't always enjoy growth or maturity or decisions. In fact, I usually avoid a lot of it. But there comes a time where there isn't anywhere to hide anymore and you've just got to grow up, be mature and make a decision.
Now is one of those times. I keep trying to just say, "OK, God...you just deal with it so I don't have to do anything." Unfortunately, we Christians tend to think that God is our own personal cleaning crew who will clean up every mess we make. While that may be true to a certain extent, He has blessed us with minds and souls so that we can do a little of the work ourselves. I don't wanna!
I don't want to decide what to do. I don't want to make the wrong choice. That's part of what I'm afraid of. I think I'm also afraid of having to live with either choice that I make. One might be easier than the other, but it may not be the right one. But how do I know?!?!?
Sigh...this stinks.

Back by popular demand...

2005-05-09T13:57:00.000-05:00

OK, Khris...here is an entry. I have once again fooled the internet gate keepers here at work and I can blog from my desk!!! I used to have a really great work ethic...really!
I'm in a funk. I'm tired of being in a funk and I'm tired of benig confused about my funkiness. Does anyone else ever feel really down and that makes everything in life seem bad? But you think that you are down because everything in life is, in fact, bad. That's my funk...don't like it one bit.
I need a vacation from my life. I need some time to pull myself back together. I just finished a really great healing Bible study. I thought I would feel so amazing after it. And I do in some ways. But I also feel very sad. Some of me is healed, but I feel like there is something else that is holding me back. There is another place where I need healing, but I can't figure out what it is. I'm praying for God to prepare me and then reveal it to me. I need His Wisdom and His truth right now.
I know the old saying, "God doesn't give you more that you can handle." Mother Teresa added, "I just wish He didn't trust me so much." I hear ya sister! Sometimes I feel like there must be something HUGE that God wants me to do because Satan sure is working hard to stop me. Am I under attack still? I started to feel comfortable and let my guard down, so now Satan is after me again. Is that what is happening?

God, You are so magnificent.

There are not enough words that are great enough to praise you.

You provide all that we need.

You protect us from ourselves and from evil.

You guide us through darkness to reach the light again.

Please be with me, Lord.

Show me the truth whether I want to see it or not.

Grant me more of Your wisdom so that I may discern the truth you show to me.

Please bless the people around me that have to deal with me right now.

Please help me quickly and fully heal.

Amen

Here I Am Again

2005-04-26T14:57:00.000-05:00

Hey kids! It looks like I have figured the internet out once again and I can write here at work. Of course, I'm having writer's block in all aspects of my life right now, so what good does this do me?
Things have been so crazy for me lately...I might be over extending myself, but its in some really great directions. Maybe by the time I am released from my 87 different directions, I'll bounce back into a new and better me! Too metaphorical or did it even make sense?
I know, I'm rambling...just thought I would let you know that I'm baaaaaaaaaaack!

I miss this!!!

2005-04-02T15:52:00.000-06:00

Hello, people! I haven't gotten to blog in so long because the internet is now gone at work...what am I supposed to do all day now?!?!
Anyway...I've missed venting here and I have missed seeing what's going on with everyone. Hope all is well! I'll try to write with something interesting soon :)

I want my own airbrusher

2005-02-09T11:06:00.000-06:00

I want a graphic artist to follow me around and air brush me constantly. Ok, girls...if you're ever feeling inferior to the girls on the cover of Cosmo or some other body image bashing magazine, just click on this link. I can't believe they can do this!!!

Prayer Request

2005-02-08T11:29:00.000-06:00

My Aunt Robin's husband died last nght. He had some kind of lung disease that I can't remember the name of. I just know that it was really hard on him and his family. I wish I knew what to do for them, but all I can think of is to pray. They all need it...that family needs a miracle. So please help me pray for a miracle.

Praise

2005-02-07T16:50:00.000-06:00

I've got to tell you, God works all the time...whether we decide to pay attention or not. He listens and then responds. Only, you don't hear the response unless you are listening.
A while back, Ken and I prayed that I would find a connection and start to feel like I'm really part of something. It wasn't a very specific prayer, I was just feeling out of place. Really, the only time I felt that I belonged was when I was with Ken. I am grateful for that, but it isn't healthy to put all of my 'worth' into Ken. (Yes, my worth comes from God, but that's not my point here).
Anyway...God has answered and I'm making more friends than I can count. They all have some big reason for being in my life that is already becoming very clear to me. So...not only has he answered my prayers for friends that I can connect with, but he is answering other prayers through them. Am I making any sense at all?
First, there is K. She is hilarious and about as nutty as me. We both love to shop and we're girly, but we're both on fire for God more than anything else. We share some of the same regrets and a lot of the same hopes.
God, thanks for letting us spend last Saturday together. I know we
felt blessed to have that outing and I believe others were greatly blessed by
it as well. Please continue to grow our trust and openness and help me be
the friend she needs me to be.

Then there is S. I'm really just starting to get to know her, but she seems so great! I'm not sure what I can do in her life other than just be somebody in Alabama that she knows she can turn to. She is such an inspiration to me...coming to a place where she doesn't really know anyone to help her sister take care of her family. How many people would really do that? She's really funny and has a gentleness about her that is hard to miss.

God, I thank for the the woman of noble character that I see in
S. I pray that I can learn from her and that I can help her in ways that
she needs. Please put me in a position to help her and let You work
through me to reward her!

And L...she's so fun! I have really enjoyed talking to her and we have
recently learned that we have been praying for the same things. She wants
to feel connected at church too. I do feel a connection with her. I
really like that she isn't interested in gossip at all...a very admirable trait
(especially in a woman). She's also got a lot of experience with
marriage and children that I am already learning a lot from. She's
an honest and genuine person and I can see that she is going to greatly effect
me.
God, please help L and I help each other. Show me how to support
her and let her know that I admire her and that I am thankful for her.
God, you have answered so many prayers in my life by giving us the opportunity
to talk.
Lord, I am in AWE of You. You truly to do hear me and you really
love me. I can't believe you care enough about me to bless me with so many
wonderful people...these women to share my life and love for you with.
God, thank you for the new Bible Study that I have become part of...I
am looking forward to learning from those women also.
And thank you for Ken. He is such a godly man. He's a helper
and a servant a he's so humble about it. I have enjoyed hearing how much
he means to other people as well. Thank you so much for his influence in
my life and especially his love for me, but mostly for his love for
YOU!
Amen

Jesus to Me

2005-01-20T14:22:00.000-06:00

There is somebody in my life who shows me Jesus every day.
This person puts up with so much from me with compassion and patience. He bears my burdens with me and supports me no matter how ridiculous I am being. He is honest and helpful, strong and sincere. He shows me Jesus.
I watch him take time for other people...compliment them, help them, encourage them...he seems to have a gift for knowing just what somebody needs from him at any give time. I think this is a gift in him...a way for him to be Christ-like. He really does put others before him, but he still respects himself and takes care of himself because he knows God loves him too. He isn't afraid to admit a wrong or ask for forgiveness. He is fair.
I watch him with his children them...growing them up, taking care of them, loveing them with everything he has in him. Its amazing to see the way he loves...its a very full and pure love.
He loves me that way too...accepting me as I am, but never letting me be less than God made me. He comforts me and supports me, but never lets me get away with anything. His love is real and pure and a true blessing from the Lord.

God, thank you for this man that you have put in my life. Though your
plan is not fully clear to us, we are well aware that you are taking care of
us. You have given us the gift of each other and we are greatful.
Please let me be the woman he deserves.
Amen

P.S. Those of you that know him, know exactly what I mean!

Amen

2005-01-18T10:02:00.000-06:00

I went forward Sunday morning...the only other time I have ever done that was the day I was baptized. It was hard, but I had to ask my brothers and sisters to pray for me.
I have one thing to say...AMEN!!!!
God hears prayers, he responds to our pleas. I am in no way saying that my worries and problems are totally gone. I'm too human to be care-free, but I do feel relief. I feel some peace that I didn't have before and I feel more on the way.

God is good.

I want to start my own Bible study...maybe a blog Bible study...anybody want to participate? I was studying Job and have stopped. I think I'll start that again. Not sure if I'm brave enough to post all of my thoughts here. I'm afraid that my limited knowledge of scripture could be quite embarrassing, but I have also recently learned that its ok to need help. So maybe I will post here and ask for your help with what I'm studying. There...good idea!
Any takers???

Regret

2005-01-13T10:03:00.000-06:00

Does anyone else have one of those things in their past that they just can't get over? Please tell me its not just me. I can't get past it, can't forgive myself for it, can't stop wondering what life would be like if that one thing had not occurred.
I know, somebody will say, "Mandee, the Lord has forgiven you so you must forgive yourself" or, "we are all sinners washed clean by Christ's blood."
Believe me, I know these things in my heart. I know that God loves me and that Christ died for my sins and I am clean because of that. But I'm also human and I don't know how to my head to understand that.
It seems that things come along to throw my mistakes back in my face...its like ANOTHER consequence to my action. There are constant reminders that I really screwed up. I think about it a lot and I'm not really sure how to truly put it behind me.
I just can't help but think that one action that I took years ago has changed everything about me and about my life. Some things will never be the same...never be what they could have been and I will have to go on knowing that and not being able to change it.
Regret is so painful, so hopeless, so defeating.
God has lifted me out of that, why am I still reaching back to it?

Stinkin' Boss

2005-01-12T10:26:00.000-06:00

OK, so Boss tells me when I come in this morning that he will need me around 3:30 this afternoon. That was it...all he said...started to walk away. So here is the ocnversation that followed:
Me: "What for?"
Boss: "A conference call" and then tries to walk away again
Me: "With whom?"
Boss: "name of company"
Me: "What will we be discussing"
Boss: "Well, you need to call name of person at company and talk to her about dual entry this morning."

OK...so I still don't know what we will be discussing in the conference call. I couldn't figure out why he was being that way (the way he usually his) when it suddenly hit me. If I don't prepare for this call, then I will sound like an idiot and then he can come in and correct me in front of everyone on the call and sound like the big smart boss that he wants to be, but so is NOT. And this is the way Boss works. This is why I need a new job...sigh.

I have decided...

2005-01-07T15:18:00.000-06:00

That today I need to change my attitude about everything. Here are some changes...

It's not all about me
God will take care of me
It's not all about me
Life on Earth is only the beginning of LIFE
It's not all about me
The best trip you'll ever take is to meet somebody half way (ok...so I didn't come up with that one on my own, but its oh-so-true)
It really is not all about me
I can't lose focus on the big picture...GOD
Still not all about me
I have a purpose whether I realize it or not and God is working on me to get it out in the open
But it really isn't about me
Just because you want something doesn't mean you get it
Obviously, painfully (at times) not all about me
LET GO!!!!!! I keep telling God that I'm putting my life in His hands, I'm trusting Him, I'm not in control, but good grief...I'm so stubborn!
Yet, its not all about me! (Thank goodness cause I'm a mess)

So...I don't feel much better yet. I guess it will take more than writing it in a blog. I guess I have to live that way. I really have to get better at letting God be in control. Not only do I want to control my destiny, but I want to control every situation in my life...I've even gotten to the point of trying to control other people. It makes me not like who I have become. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with a lot of the changes I have made in my life. But there is much more wrong with me. I don't know if its new stuff or stuff I've never noticed. I'm a self-centered and shallow spoiled brat! Ew...I didn't like saying (typing) that out loud.

(why is this double spacing when I mash enter?)

Here's what I want to change:

--Obsessed with hating the way I look (and not doing anything about it)

--Being hypersensitive to every little thing the people I love do and/or say.

--Placing expectations on myself and everyone around me to the point that I am in a constant state of disappointment

--Thinking about how I am effected in each and every situation around me, rather than putting my feelings aside to help a brother or sister

--Writing an entire blog about ME!

Now, don't I sound like the kind of person you would want to be friends with? Not really fond of being friends with myself right now. I'll try to revisit this and see if I (God's working harder than I ever could) make any progress. PRAYER WARRIORS>>>you have a mission!

Chowder Menage

2005-01-07T15:12:00.000-06:00

That is an anagram of my name. See what yours is here...its kind of funny!

Too much fun!!!

2005-01-06T14:08:00.000-06:00

Fun with fridge magnets!

Digital Camera

2005-01-05T11:37:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I might be able to use some Christmas money to get a dgital camera. I don't want to spend a lot...$200 is ideal. I have checked out the Kodak CX7430 4.0 Megapixel camera. Looks pretty good...any suggestions?

I copied

2004-12-31T13:08:00.000-06:00

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME
1. Losing people I love
2. Spiders
3. Demons
THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND
1. Love
2. Hate
3. Chemistry
THREE THINGS I AM WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. Brown velvet pants
2. boots
3. denim jacket
THREE THINGS ON MY DESK
1. Candy Canes
2. Pink feather pen
3. pictures
THREE THINGS IN MY ROOM
1. bed
2. treadmill
3. TV
THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE
1. Forgive myself
2. Write a book
3. Bring somebody to God
THREE GOOD WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY
1. Goofy
2. Caring
3. Sarcastic
THREE BAD THINGS ABOUT MY PERSONALITY
1. Needy
2. Too trusting
3. Insecure
THREE THINGS MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME
1. I'm not always very happy
2. I got a high ACT score
3. I'm famous ;)
THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST
1. Oh geez
2. super
3. like
THREE PLACES I WANT TO GO
1. Isle of Capri
2. NY, NY
3. Greece

Well, that was fun...

Using only 5 words, describe how 2004 went for you.
Change, learning, God, love, disappointment
Name something you did in 2004 that you'll probably never do again.
Get Baptized...only had to do that once!
What did you learn about yourself in 2004?
I'm not as laid back or easy going as I've always thought I am. I am disappointed by my own perfectionism.
What notable news event from 2004 will stand out most in your memory?
Tsunami...can't get that out of my head!
Name something you purchased in 2004 that you really, really like.
Ken's Christmas present...so glad to give it to him!

Ho Ho Ho

2004-12-28T13:31:00.000-06:00

Why does it take so long for Christmas to get here and yet its gone so quickly? On a worldly note...I love the holiday! I love shopping for the people I love. I love thinking of the perfect gift and then finding it...for half price! I love knowing that friends and family will feel special when they see what I have chosen for them. I love baking (even when I burn stuff). I love how peoples' attitudes change, even if just for a day or 2. I love being with everyone I care about most. I love watching the faces of children as they soak up the magic of Christmas. I love hearing change clink in the bottom of the Salvation Army bucket. I love smelling Mom's gumbo on Christmas Eve. I love still feeling a little giddy when I hear Santa coming on the fire engine.
More than all of that, I love the reason we have a holiday on December 25th. I love Jesus. I love that he was born so that I could be born again. I love that he was born to die so that I didn't have to die. I love that no gift I give will ever match the gift He has given to us all. I love singing praises that our Savior was born. I love the candle light that reminds me of the little light the kings followed over 2000 years ago. I love that Christmas is not just December 25th, but part of my salvation that lasts all year and all my life...until my life is eternal.
As Garry said...I'm looking forward to spending eternity with you, fellow Christians.
Hope you had a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Things to Do in 2005

2004-12-22T11:28:00.000-06:00

Go to the Alabama Theater
Go camping
Write
Pay off 2 credit cards
Learn more about photography
Keep a plant alive
Get a plant
Fix my car fender
Fly in a hot air balloon
Be able to wear everything in my closet (so that means get rid of all the skinny clothes or lose weight)

My Wish List

2004-12-21T14:58:00.000-06:00

Posting this not because I think that anyone reading this is going to buy me a present, but because I lose lists...make them all the time and then lose them...if its here, its in cyberspace forever!
Pampered Chef: Kithchen Shears, Stoneware Loaf Pan, Rectangular Lid/Bowl, Rectangle Stone, *Stoneware Storage Rack, Small Batter Bowl, Large Scoop, Pocket Thermometer, Large Grooved Cutting Board, Several Quickut Paring Knives, Serated Bread Knife, All Purpose Spreader, Garlic Press, Large Spreader, Pastry Brush, Spoon Rest, Twixit Clip Combo Pack (lots), *i-Slice (2), Southwest Seasoning Mix, Large serving Tongs, Slice and Serve, Chilzane Rectangular Server, Soups, Stews, and Chilis book
Digital Camera-at least 4 megapixels
Laptop that I can do my editing on
Tote Bag..big enough for books, but small enough to fit in my desk
Watch
My fender fixed
Potato Ricer...don't really know what that is, but I think I want one...to drain my spinach
Christmas Tree skirt

The Whole Point

2004-12-20T16:05:00.000-06:00

Garry summed it up at the Christmas party at church last night..."I am anticipating spending eternity with you." WOW!!!
What comfort in those words...what hope...what joy...what love...what faith! He (and the rest of us Christians) truly believe that we will be spending forever together with Jesus Christ. And isn't that the whole point of this season?
We will out grow the clothes, break the toys, lose the earrings that we receive as gifts this year but we will never out grow, break, or lose our salvation and lasting union with the Lord. Jesus...the man and the Christ was born to insure that.
I have spent a lot of time and money making sure I have the best gift I can get for the people I care about. I have worked hard in my kitchen (and even cried) over the cookies I'm baking for others to enjoy. I have put so much in what I am doing to celebrate December 25th that I haven't taken the time to put that much (and more) in celebrating Jesus' birthday.
God, please let me understand what this season is all about. Help me celebrate your birth and life every day of every year...not just at Christmas. Let me show people how much I love them, not just with gifts and not just at Christmas. Thank you for living in my shoes and saving me from myself. Amen!!!

Tempting

2004-11-10T09:16:00.000-06:00

Temptation...isn't that a constant thing?
I grew up believing that even thinking about sinning was a sin. If you had any kind of thought that was not good, you were sinning. (Call it Catholic guilt, if you will). How much truth is there in that? God tells us that we will be tempted. He knows that Satan will do whatever he can to turn us away from the Lord. So, shouldn't we expect temptation? When we act on our temptation isn't that where we decide whether we sin or not?
So, I have noticed that I beat myself up for being tempted. Have I become a perfectionist? Is that why I procrastinate? Because I don't want to do something that I can't do perfectly? I expect myself to be perfect because I am a Christian. In reality, it is hard to be a Christian...to know what you want to do because it is right, but to do what is wrong because you want to do that too. Then you are sorry because you love Jesus and you haven't done what He would have done.
I find myself expecting people close to me to be perfect now too. I expect them to not even think about doing wrong, especially wrong against me. I forget that they are human and flawed just like I am. My feeligs are hurt because they aren't putting others (namely me) first.
If thinking about doing wrong is a sin, then there is no free will. Then you are saying that evil (ie. Satan and his demons) cannot get to you or cannot influence you. I am starting to believe even more that these negative thoughts are directly from Big Red. He and his minions know how to get us (just like a used car salesman) and they come at your weak spots from all directions.
I will admit that some of my negative thoughts are my own choice, but that is because I have been tempted and fallen to that temptaion...not because I am evil and certainly not because I am not a Christian.
Once again, I'm rambling...just thought I would share.

Allegiance

2004-11-02T10:29:00.000-06:00

As everyone knows, today is election day. I woke up this morning, said a prayer for our country, the voters, and ALL of the candidates and prepared to cast my vote. On the way to the polling place, I was listening to the local Christian station. They played Lee Greenwood's "Proud to Be an American" and then an acapella version of God Bless America. The next thing I knew, my eyes were full of tears. They really tugged at my patriotism, but not only that...they tugged at my allegiance to my country and to my God. How lucky am I to be in a country where men died to give me the right to vote...where women went through torture to make sure that other women would be free to vote...where we can not only have an opinion, but use it to make a difference in our world...where we can disagree and still work together...where we know God has blessed us and we are free to spread that GOOD NEWS! I was just really touched by how profound election day is...and so few of us realize that.
I learned another lesson this morning. While waiting in line, a lady slipped and fell in a puddle on the floor as she came into the polling place. Every gasped and a few people asked her is she was ok. One man even moved toward her, but she said she was OK and waived him off. I was torn between walking over to her (about 20 feet) to help her up and keeping my place in line. She looked shaken up, but seemed ok. A few minutes later, I was on the phone with Ken (who had already finished voting...no fair) and she said a few words to everyone in line. She said that she was really broken up that nobody had helped her and she left the line. We heard later that she had gone upstairs to report the fall and she got to vote, but we all felt pretty bad in our part of the line. You know, if somebody had asked me how I would have reacted to that situation before, I would have said that I would help her up and make sure she was OK. But I didn't do that...none of us did. I don't think that I was so worried about losing my place in line...I'm sure they would have let me back in. I don't think I was worried about embarrassing myself. I think I just wasn't sure what she wanted us to do. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it and cause her more embarrassment...you never know how somebody will react. I'm just disappointed in myself that my natural instinct was not to go straight to her and help her up. Shame on me.

So Sad

2004-10-30T11:28:00.000-05:00

I'm sad...the websense thingy at work won't let me log onto blogspot from my computer anymore. It says that it is an "Uncategorized" site...pooh.
So, I will be posting a lot less often now and I won't get to check up on everyone else so often either...I'll miss you, Blogger!

Barking Chickens

2004-10-25T09:58:00.000-05:00

I'm getting over myself now, by the way.
So, this was the weekend that HC and Bonnie moved right down the road...about 200 miles down the road.
Friday night, HC and Bonnie took Ken, Whitney, and me out for dinner. It was nice to get out after a long week at work. Whitney was fun...as usual. HC and Bonnie were tired from packing, so it was pretty low key.
Saturday: The fateful day of the move. It seemed that half of Crossbridge was at their house...it was touching to see how many people love them so much. We had a good time, a different kind of fellowship. I got to see some people in a whole new light which was interesting and entertaining at the same time! I think that watching Ken and Garry engineer the packing of the truck was one of the highlights! Although, trying to get Oliver the giant cat in his box for the trip was quite an experience as well.
Turns out that one 24' truck was not going to do it, so H and I went and got a 15-footer. This meant that Ken and I would be making the trip with them since Ken would need to drive a truck and I would need to follow to take Ken home. Turns out they needed my vehicle to carry their art work, so it all worked out well.
Garry offered a lovely prayer just before we hit the road...I'm not sure if there were any dry eyes as they hugged everyone. But this isn't goodbye...Bonnie does not say goodbye.
Our 4 vehicle caravan hit the road around 2 o'clock headed for Ramer, TN. It was a pleasant ride. I spent most of it switching back and forth between the Bama game and the Auburn game on the radio and calling Ken to update him on scores. (The radio in his 'antique' U-Hal did not work). We hit some heavy rain, but made it through to sunshine just before we got to our destination.
The house is in the exact middle of nowhere. I love it. Its small and charming...the land is beautiful. I could have stayed. Its so close to Bonnie's parents' house that you can walk right to the dining room table for every meal! And let me tell you, that is something I would do! Mrs. Howell (Granny) can cook. We had a table full of fresh country food at every meal (and we weren't even there 24 hours). It was wonderful...cooked with love...you could taste it.
Now to the title of this blog...H and Bonnie's grandson says that the chickens bark in the morning...he was not kidding. That's how I woke up (in the room Bonnie grew up in) on Saturday morning...opened the door to the smell of bacon, eggs, and biscuits. Seriously...this is the life.
Bonnie especially kept trying to get us to leave so we wouldn't do anymore work. HC kept saying how much he appreciated us coming up, but I really wanted to thank them...for several reasons. It was an adventure! I like road trips, I didn't consider it a burden at all. I loved meeting the family and getting to know a little bit about this place that is about to be blessed with these two! It was a great way for me to accept what was happening. I can see where they are, I know how far it is, I know what it will be like...I can handle it better now. And I can't wait to go back.
I just have to tell you about the goat...Panda Bear. He's really cute, but really stinky! Did you know that goats pee on themselves? YUCK!

Case of the Red Face

2004-10-24T21:58:00.000-05:00

Ever been so sad that you are mad at everything? I've got a mean case of the red face.
We got back about 4 hours ago from dropping HC and Bonnie off at their new home in Tennessee. I am so sad. I want to cry, but I can't because I keep getting mad about 'stuff.' Everything is making me mad. I'm getting mad about stuff that I don't even have the information about yet. How silly is this? I'm mad at life and I'm even a little ticked at God right now. I really hate that feeling. Guess who is really feeling the wrath right now though...yep, its Ken. I think he would say that I am high maintenance right now. And I am, but he knew what he was getting into.
I could punch holes in the wall.
We hurried back for LifeWalk tonight...Khris was the only other person there. I'm sure that everyone has their reasons for not being there tonight, but it was upsetting after everything we had been doing this weekend with H and Bonnie...I was ready to share stories and pictures and nobody was there. How disappointing. That was the first thing...
Dinner was fine...I think I was too tired to enjoy it and I wasn't really great to the kids, but they probably didn't notice. I feel bad when I do that though.
Then Ken said 1 thing that annoyed me, didn't really make me mad, but he though I was mad, so I got mad...and so on and so on. You know how that goes. So all I feel like doing is crying and letting him hug me, but I'm not with him because he thought I was mad and so I got mad. Now, somebody please tell me how that makes sense...
Then I decided to sit still and write in my journal...it made me mad. I'm mad because I feel really distant from God right when I really need him. And I'm mad that I want my Mommy and Daddy right now. I'm a grown woman!!! I'm mad that I don't feel God or hear Him right now. I'm mad that I'm letting that make me mad. I'm mad that I am admitting it out loud. I'm mad that I missed church this morning and I didn't even get a devotional at LifeWalk. I'm mad that God doesn't snap His fingers and fix everything that I see as wrong with me, my life, this world. I'm mad.
I'm mad that I can't get in touch with Ken to tell him whats going on right now. I'm mad that I won't get a good chance to talk to him for a while. I'm mad that when I do get those good opportunities I always seem to waste them. I'm mad that things don't always go my way. I'm mad that I'm so self centered. I'm mad that I'm a brat.
I'm mad that I can admit that I'm wrong, but that I still feel the same way. I'm mad that I can always seem to justify my anger. I'm really mad.
I think I'll try to sleep now.

Work

2004-10-22T13:29:00.000-05:00

I'm really working hard today and I'm not enjoying it. But, I'm getting a lot accomplished and I need to learn to be satisfied with that...for now. Just felt like rambling...
And I miss the girls...

Crying Out

2004-10-21T13:33:00.000-05:00

I keep asking God to speak to me again. Is he? I want to scream, "Aren't you hearing me?!?! Aren't you going to answer me?!?! God, where are you?!?!" I know he is here always. And I know he is there with you too. Maybe he is speaking to me in a new way...
My co-worker's little girl came to visit us here the other day. She has the sweetest little voice I have ever heard. Libby is 6...going on 30. She is very bright and well behaved and sweet and creative! I had a lot of fun coloring pictures with her. She has been sending me little pictures every day (via her mom's purse) and I keep hanging them on my wall. You can tell they were drawn by small hands, but the art work is great for her age! How do children know exactly what you need every time?I keep asking God to talk to me...I need to listen. Maybe He is talking to me through Libby...relax and enjoy the simple things that people do out of love. Enjoy the beauty that He has given us to behold. Perfection is not the only kind of beauty. Whether something appears perfect or not, it looks just the way He planned it. Tell people you love them. Little Libby writes "I love Mandee" on every picture I get! She's met me once, but I believe that she means it. She is so innocent that she doesn't know to withhold love as we adults often do. I think I'll keep learning from Libby.

Crush!

2004-10-19T16:53:00.000-05:00

So, I'm living vicariously through a friend of mine who has decided to have a crush on another friend of mine. Crushes are fun and I haven't had an unrequited crush on anyone in close to a year! (Although I still have a crush on Ken...stop gagging).
I think the crusher and I are going to go shopping...find some crush-worthy clothes and new make up to make her even more fetching. The only problem is that the crushee has a few 'issues' that must be dealt with before I allow the crusher to move any further in the crushing process. (I am I blogging about stomping grapes? notsomuch)
Man, I forgot about the adreniline involved in crushing. The endless wide-eyed thoughts of what-ifs. Talking too fast and ending every sentence with a giggle when the object of your crush is near. The need to look your absolute best every minute of every day just in case there is a sighting.
Ah...romance at its earliest stage. Barf bag, anyone?

Desperate

2004-10-19T15:24:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had something to tell somebody that is a really good thing, but you were really nervous about telling them? Did that make sense at all? Not really...I know. That's all I have to say about that.
So here is something that is bothering me...I have not seen the ABC show "Desperate Housewives," but from what I understand it is full of immorality. While it may be very humorous, the basic ideas and the pranks they are getting away with really bother me. Have we become so immune to these things that they have become our best source of entertainment? One part of the show that I have heard about is a woman is having an affair and her husband comes home. To prevent being caught, she sends the lover out the window...he falls and there is a wide shot of him running across the lawn...naked from the waist down. Now, please tell me how any of this is good for the soul? Such a bad example for teenagers who, I'm sure, are watching. What ever happened to family television?
Now, I'm all for freedom of speech and censorship is not always a good thing, but I do believe there is a time and place for everything. We must take matters into our own hands and change the channel...turn off the TV even! Its just sad that we are surrounded by it...it is a constant battle to keep our minds out of the gutters. We have to make a choice and its so hard when you're surrounded.
I sound like my Mom...I'm being preachy...so sorry!

Not Goodbye

2004-10-18T09:48:00.000-05:00

Bonnie doesn't like goodbyes...they are just moving down the street. 3 hours down the street.
This weekend was a great weekend at times, a sad weekend at times, a frustrating weekend at times, and a tiring weekend all around. Shall I tell you about all of it?
Friday: Ken, Amber, Whitney and I went out to eat...the people at the table behind us were dropping the f-bomb. Not a family environment! Then Whitney and I went shopping at Club Libby Lu. I had given her a gift certificate for her birthday and she had a ball spending her money on the girliest things ever created. Then we went and got new tennis shoes for me...they are grey and purple...very girly also!
Saturday: Jennifer's high school band hosted and invitational. I went with Ken to help with trailers and whatever else I could do. I didn't feel very helpful though...can't lift anything, so I really just rode in the truck all day and followed Ken around. Hung out with the girls a little bit, so that was fun. The bands were impressive and the Million Dollar Band from the University of Alabama played at the end...it was really great.
The problem of Saturday...why am I sooooo insecure? I found myself getting jealous of the Bama majorettes. What for?!?! I actually had this thought, "There is nothing special about me. No reason for people to like me." That kind of self-pitty annoys me. Why do I continue to forget where my confidence comes from? How do I forget that God gave us all very special gifts and attributes that make us unique and valuable? That jerk, Satan, knows my weakness...thats what it is. But why is that my weakness? That is a question I would like to answer. I took out these inferior feelings on Ken...made for a hard day for both of us.
Sunday: I was still pouting/feeling sorry for myself on Sunday. We have a new way of doing the classes on Sunday mornings now...we are divided into age groups. There was 1 reason I was not excited about this...it puts Ken and I in seperate classes. Now that I have been to class, I can think of another reason. The entire hour or so was spent talking about marriage. I'M NOT MARRIED!!! We are using the book "Five Love Languages." I have read the book and it is reall great. I'm glad the church is facilitating this class, but I don't belong in it right now. There were 3 of us singles in that class and it was really hard to participate. I felt very left out and unimportant because I don't have a marriage to apply the challenges to. All I've got is a failed marriage to be reminded of. My feelings were actually hurt a couple of times in class...I wanted to say something, but wasn't sure how to do it at the time. I think I'll talk to the class leader. Maybe I will go to another class next week and let them have their 'married' class.
LifeSong did an AWESOME job yesterday. I was pretty sensitive already, but they alway get me in tune with God...I cried most of the morning. Garry was not there, so Lynn did the lesson...he was excellent! But there were some times when I felt left out again...he was making a correlation between God's love for us and our love for our children. Being around Ken's girls so much, I can kind of understand that love...I love them a lot. And I see how much Ken loves them. But I don't have my own kids...felt like I wasn't being spoken to here and there. But, again, could be my hypersensitivity this weekend.
The kick in the gut came at the end of the service. I had been sitting next to HC all morning...listening to his bass voice while we sang and hearing it more clearly than I ever have. One of the shepherds called him to the front and told the church family that this was H's last official day with us at CrossBridge. The tears were a'flowing...and not just mine. H was crying, Shepherds were crying, out Lifewalk group was crying. Then Greg invited us up to pray over H. (Bonnie was not there...she was going to get her granddaughter...missed her a lot). As we prayed for the leaders/parents/friends/mentors/counselors/comforters that we are Bonnie and H, I could feel how much love was surrounding them...how much love will go with them to Tennessee. I could feel how much love they had poured out on the church family that has left a permanent mark. I could feel what a difference these incredible images of God have made on my life in just half a year. They have become my spiritual parents...not that my Mom and Dad have nothing to do with my spiritual life.
HC is the one who baptized me just a little over a month ago. We laughed yesterday as he said 'nobody will ever forget yor baptism.' HC held me under the water for a record amount of time...I think his foot was even on my head...HA!
After church Ken, Whitney, and I went to HC and Bonnie's house. Whitney wanted to play with Savannah...they had a great time. Ken and I got the chance to spend some more time with HC, Bonnie, Pam, and Kayla...I'm going to really miss those times.
HC and Bonnie have opened their home to me so many Monday nights when I needed to talk about my confusion about my spiritual life or my relationships or nightmares or whatever might be on my mind. Bonnie would never let me sit in her house for longer than 15 minutes before she was in the kitchen making something for me to eat. It was always something good, but she always apologized for not being good enough...silly humble Bonnie.
I imagine that the bond I share with them will stay the same and that Bonnie will feed me every time I see her...its just not going to be every Monday night or Sunday eveing. HC told me I could call/email/visit/meet them half way any time I needed it. He didn't even have to say that...I already knew that.
I thank the Lord for letting them into my life and me into theirs. They are such special people who have touched so many lives. Ramer, TN has no idea what is in store for them...God must need some special angels there and that is why they have to leave us here. I'm going to miss them, but they are leaving me with so much...I hope to make them proud!

Fashion Alert

2004-10-15T15:28:00.000-05:00

Just to let everyone know...if you have pants that zip up the side and then button at the top...DO NOT WEAR THEM if they are too tight for the button to be buttoned. And if you must wear them, please do not tuck your shirt in so that everyone can see that you can't button your pants. Thank you and have a lovely day!

Hard to type with your fingers crossed...

2004-10-15T14:27:00.000-05:00

My fingers are crossed because I applied for a job that I would be good at and love today. I want it! I think...if there is any reason that I shouldn't be in that job, i pray that God will shut that door. But if thats the job I should be in, I pray that God will open that door awfully wide! Pray with me, please! Thanks!

Who Am I?

2004-10-14T14:46:00.000-05:00

Listening to: Zoe Group: Who Am I?
LOVE love love this song, Vern!
So...I am excitedly peaceful today...God talked to me last night. HE didn't actually speak...I didn't hear a voice, but I had a thought that I didn't think myself. I've experienced this communication before, but only through my journaling. I've written things that were surprising to me...maybe inspired by the Holy Spirit. Its awesome every time it happens.
Last night's experience was different though. I was at church and Garry was praying. He paused to allow us to speak up with more intentions if we had any. The room was quiet and peaceful...all of us deep in prayer. My thoughts went to a specific area in which I have been struggling and an area where several other have been praying for me as well. And then I had a thought, only I didn't think it...3 clear words. I felt peaceful and excited at the same time. I squeezed Ken's hand because I didn't want to jump up and yell, "Yes, Lord, I'm listening!" Although, I believe my church family would have jumped up with me and prayed. I wasn't sure if this 'thought' was an answer or what...I was a little confused, but hopeful and faithful.
Later in the evening, I talked to Ken about it. I didn't give him every detail, but while I was talking I had another 3 word thought...that I didn't think! This one was clearer...I understood. This is so cool! I can't believe it...I mean, I can because God can do whatever he wants, I just didn't expect him to do this. I thought I would have to pray and think and pray some more before I got an answer. Sure didn't expect it to be so easy. Maybe that is my reward for trusting Him. I love Him!!!! He is so awesome!
OK...so, now I have to figure out what to do with his communication to me. How do I handle it and where do I go with it? I'm not worried at all...He is taking care of me and He will make sure I do the right thing. I am so honored that He is working in my life this way...I want to make Him proud of me.
Here I am rambling again...that's it for now. If you're reading this, please say a prayer for me...pray that I will accept direction and guidance from Him and that I will always be tuned in to his voice.
I'll be praying for you too!

Prayer

2004-10-13T10:54:00.000-05:00

Prayer rocks!
Sometimes I am totally shocked by how prayers are answered and how prayers can be answered within prayers. I know I shouldn't be shocked, but it is so awesome...so amazing. I keep a prayer journal...probably why blogging interested me. I write in it as often as possible. Sometimes its just a few words, sometimes several pages. I love to go back through old journals and see that everything has been answered in one way or another! Maybe not the way I asked for, but always the best way.
I also love to finish a long session of praying/writing and see that my prayer has already been answered...while I was writing! I think of things that I had never thought of...see things in a new perspective...and its all God giving me the insight that I need. Its always just enough for me to keep hope alive!
Hope...I love that word. I have 3 rings that I wear EVERY day. One says 'FAITH.' One says 'HOPE.' One says 'LOVE.' Hope is my favorite. Romans 5:5 "And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." I have hope that everything in my life that seems so scary or uncertain is all part of the great plan God has for me. He is taking care of me and the people I care about most. He will not fail me. He is faithful. I'm sure most, if not all, who are reading this already know these things...I think I'm writing it to remind myself.
I think a lot of my realizations are very fundamental but profound things. One thing that I knew in my head, but have recently learned in my heart is that I cannot put my hope in another human. No matter how good or trustworthy that person is, they are still human! They are going to let me down, hurt my feeling, and disappoint me. While its not fun at all, it is still ok. They still love me and they are still a good and trustworthy person. The only person/thing/event in my life that is guaranteed not to let me down is God! And you can bank on that.
realization number 2: The way I treat other people has a whole lot to do with my relationship with God, as well as everything else going on around me. God made us in His image. (It can be so hard to believe that about some people). But the way I treat others is the way that God is treated by me...I wish it weren't the case...that means I haven't been very good to God sometimes. I realized that when I don't get my way with a person I tend to pout, give the cold shoulder, get hyper sensitive, and withhold love. I started thinking about how I treat God when he doesn't give me what I want when I want it. I get upset about the unimportant things and forget how much I love Him. I start making demands and don't want to show my love until those demands are met. How childish am I? How selfish am I? I'm only human!

What am I doing with my life?

2004-10-07T14:11:00.000-05:00

I have so much on my mind right now. I'm frustrated because there are so many things that I want to 'be about' (as Ken would word it), but I'm not leaving enough time for those things. I'm spending most of my time at this desk, in front of a computer (grateful for technology...no offense), bored out of my mind, doing a job that is neither challenging nor rewarding. There is so much more I have to offer than this! This is so much more to life than this!
I am also giving my time to some really good causes. There is a divorce/widow support group that I work with that is absolutely wonderful! What a good cause...just not where I need to be spending my time right now...or my ENERGY! I have gotten more assertive...better at saying no to what i don't want to do/don't have time for. But I have a really hard time saying no to something that I do care about and do believe in, but don't have time for.
I want to focus on my relationships, my writing, and my spiritual walk with the Lord. Gosh, I have so much to think about and so much to talk about and so much to give of myself. So...what is my solution? Any ideas? I am looking for different work, but not having much luck with that. I bet part of the lesson I should be learning right now is to be content with my circumstances and make the most of them...I am doing that. But I also need to be aware of what I can do to live a better life.
I liked Garry's class last night...he talked about loving life...it is a gift from God. What am I doing to enjoy life? I have my family, my friends, a wonderful relationship, my church, ok...so I'm really lucky. But I've got to grow...I've got to be busy with what I am wanting to be about.
So, along with being frustrated, I'm also excited. I am excited about everything that I want to do. I have so much inside of me that keeps boiling more and more and I think its about to bubble out...my cup runneth over!!! (Psalm 23:5) Imagine the possibilities...what if I do publish a book? What if it could impact at least 1 young woman and prevent the pain that I (and many others) have experienced? What if I can be light in the darkness? Hm...I can be! I have faith that I will be!
So...if you've read my other posts, you know that I'm a rambler...hope ya don't mind!

Rant...

2004-10-06T14:01:00.000-05:00

I think I'll rant a bit today.
I'm glad the weather is getting cooler...that means women have to put clothes on now. I am so tired of seeing too much of women...way too much. I'm tired of being embarrassed by advertisements that show too much skin. Can anyone tell me what a woman riding a bull has to do with Hardee's? Anyone...anyone...no?...didn't think so. Why do I have to walk into a gas station and be greeted by a 6 foot tall cardboard woman in a tank top, invisible shorts, and high heels holding a 6-pack? Ladies, do any of you wear heels with your cut-offs in the front yard? Hm...me neither! Maybe I should try it...or not.
It makes me sad that little girls see these airburshed, botoxed, self-tanned, tightened, lifted, and extended woman and believe they are expected to look like that. Nobody looks like that! It makes me sad that so many grown women are willing to go through this physical pain and psychological torture to look the part too. Now, I know that most men appreciate natural beauty and inner beauty, but thats not the idea we get from the media, from clothing retailers, and from other women.
Sigh...do ya think this might bother me? I think I will keep a log of how much skin I see tomorrow...just keep track of when/where/and how much. Should be interesting...I'll try to remember to post that.
K...nice to get that off my chest. In other news...I'm bored at work. I'm not a big fan of my job. Need something else. Something more challenging...don't feel like I'm using my gifts here. Speaking of gifts...Khris is offering a Spiritual Gifts class soon...YEAH!! I'm excited to see what I discover about myself there. And I will be very excited to apply what I learn. I'm just so ready to be making a difference. I'm ready to be useful in the Kingdom.
Hm...reminds me of something else. A friend of mine told me that i have become a Bible banger...HAHAHAHAHA. If only you had known me just a few years ago, you would see how amazing that statement is. I think I'm taking it as a compliment though. I'm passionate about what I have discovered in my spiritual life. Call me all the names you want...as Peter said in 1Peter 2:20 (there I go...banging that Bible).

Where to Start?

2004-10-04T10:39:00.000-05:00

I'm really new to this kind of thing...I'm new to a lot of things these days. (maybe that will make sense later) Several friends of mine at my church home of CrossBridge are bloggers and I thought I would give it a whirl. I guess I'm interested in having a place to ramble on about the millions of things that clutter my little mind in hopes of getting some helpful feedback. My prayer is that some things I have to say might help somebody else! I'm no theologian or counselor, but I have experienced a lot in my 20-some-odd years and I'm being enlightened by God in ways that I can't even write (err...type).
I think a Sunday school teacher put it best..."I've been a Christian all my life, but was recently converted." I've always been 'nice' and 'good' when it was convenient. I've always known God and even loved Him in a way. I've always wanted Him...maybe I've always been seeking him. But I recently fell in love...with Jesus!!! And I've got to tell you, He's the greatest man around. Not only is he powerful and successful, but he is forgiving and kind and generous. He seems to know whats on my mind all the time and He really wants what is best for me. No other man will ever be what He is to me. (Can I get an Amen?).
Anyway...I'm just thrilled to pieces about my journey that will never end. The final chapter is eternity with the love of my life and I can't wait to be with my brothers and sisters there! But while I am waiting...I want to express the love Jesus gives to me to the people around me. I want to know how to do that. I want to put into practice all the things that I felt at the worship conference this weekend. I found myself smiling at everyone...a sincere smile filled with love for my brothers and sisters in Christ. Why don't I do that on a constant basis? Why do I do that only in that atmosphere? Isn't every person on this earth a child of God? Whether they accept it or not...God loves them and as a follower of His, as a person created in His image, I should be letting is love pour out over everyone I meet. sigh... I'm on a spiritual high right now...a mountain top experience, as Khris put it. I want to shout to the world what the Lord can do for us. And PRAISE GOD for this feeling!
OK....if you are reading this...CONGRATULATIONS!!! You made it through my very first internet ramble. I'm praying for you and God is faithful!!!