Devastation

I don't really have words for it yet...Katrina.
Most people reading this know that my family is in New Orleans. Most of the have been accounted for, but a few are still unreachable. I believe that everyone is ok in my family, but their stuff is not. It is just stuff.
Grandpa's house is probably gone. He built it when I was just a baby. I grew up in that house. Grandpa died about 4 years ago...that's what we had left. We still have the memories.
So many of the places that those memories took place are gone. New Orleans and much of the North Shore are gone.
I wish I knew what to do right now.
I keep crying and praying and then crying some more.
I keep thinking of the people at the Bywater Outreach Center where I worked at JINO. Those people had no money to get out of the city. Their neighborhood is gone. I hope they still have their lives. They have no insurance, no money to rebuild. I want to know where my new little friend, Jacori, is. I want to know that she is safe.
God be with those people.

I'm a Different Book of the Bible Now

You are Ephesians.

Which book of the Bible are you?
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What If God Read My Blog?

I'm feeling kind of far away from Him right now. I'm not totally sure why...just am.
But I was thinking, 'What if God read my blog?' What would I write differently? What topics would I have avoided? What words would I have chosen differently?
I must say that knowing that my church friends are reading this blog does hold me accountable. For instance, when I'm really angry and I want to rant and rave, I hold back and keep myself in check because I know they will be reading. When I want to use this site for gossip, I think about them seeing it. When I want to talk about really shallow and sometimes inappropriate things, I think of what they would see here. My church friends read my blog.
God reads my blog too.
But He doesn't just read my blog. He reads my email too...not just the ones I send. He also reads the ones I receive and should delete, but read them and laugh anyway. He reads the ones I send when I'm mad or just plain wrong. He hears my phone calls, He see my thoughts, He knows everything about me...intimately.
This is a very basic truth that we all learn as little bitty kids. God, like Santa, knows when we've been bad or good (so be good for goodness sake). Why is it so hard for me to remember these things?

• When I am far way, He comes nearer.
  
• When I'm hiding, He is watching even more intently.
  
• When I'm lonely, He is more present than before.
  
• When I'm bad, He is witness to it.
  
• When I'm wrong, He knows it.
  
• When I lie, He is still the Truth.
  

God, are You reading this? You understand what I mean...why don't I?

Oh, and God...thanks for reading!

Offer My Suffering?!?

Has anyone ever told you to offer your suffering up to God? If I've heard it once, I've heard it a thousand times...especially growing up in Catholic school. But what does it mean? How can I make it make sense and then actually use it in my life?
I'm wanting to really find that out. Not that I'm suffering in any serious way right now, but I want to learn to offer all of my complaints to My Father.
All through the New Testament, we are reminded that in our personal sufferings, we are sharing in the sufferings of Jesus Christ. This should be an honor. How am I supposed to see any kind of suffering or pain as an honor? The human part of me says, "Are you crazy? Suffering sucks! Find something to numb the pain and get away from it."
But the Bible tell me to delight in it. Now, I've got all of this information in my head. How do I put it into action? I can tell you that I personally just said a little prayer,

God, I don't like to suffer. I really want to be happy and pain free my
whole life. But I know that this is not possible because the world is
evil. It is because of the work of Satan that I now suffer. I
consider it joy to suffer because I know You and through knowing You intimately,
I recognize evil and it causes me sadness. Father, I offer my hardships to
You. I give You my heart to mold and strengthen through these
difficulties. I know that You are preparing me for something greater and I
trust You to get me through this. I love You, Lord and I know You are with
me during all of the difficult moments of my life. Amen

It may not make a whole lot of sense to you, but it changed my attitude and
gave me relief from my worries. I feel much better about all of the
situations that were dragging me down. It doesn't mean that I suddenly
have a new job or have all the answers to life's relentless questions, but I do
have peace in Jesus.

MAN ON A MISSION trip

So, Ken and about 12 other CrossBridge memebers left for a mission trip to Honduras yesterday. They drove to Nashville and then got up at the crack of dawn this morning to hop a plane to Miami which then took them to Tegucigalpa, Honduras.

I miss him already.

I had no idea I would be so sad to see him go. Honestly, I was looking forward to having so much time to myself because I knew that I had a lot to do. But now I'm sad. I miss having him to call with good news and bad news and every kind of news in between. I miss knowing that I would have dinner with him. I miss praying with him. I just miss him!

I'M SUCH A CHICK!!!

I know that what he and the rest of the people are doing is a great thing. From what I understand, this trip will change him (I'm sure in a good way). But I can't help but worry about their safety in that country and in travel. Hearing about the attempted bombings in London didn't help things at all. I'm a worrier too.

So...please pray with me for the group's safety, for the people of Honduras, and most of all for God's will to be done through this trip. I know God is looking down on them and using them and protecting them. He is faithful!

Miss Mandee

You would think that a week at camp in the middle of the summer would be miserable. You would think that sleeping in a cabin for a week with 13 5th and 6th grade girls would nearly kill me. You would think that hearing "Miiiiiss Maaaaandeeeeeee" 1,875 times a day would wear me out.

I LOVE CAMP !!!!!

I had such a great time that I wish I could make a career of it! My girls were the bestest and the sweetest. I cried when I told them goodbye, but the tears went away shortly after I got home and the emails started coming. They loved me too! I can't wait to see them all again. I'm planning on visiting their churches and taking them all to a Baron's game soon :)
All of this kids stuff is making me think. Don't worry, this isn't a post about baby fever. Anyone who has read my blog has been made fully aware that I am not so pleases with my job. Why not children's ministry?? I think I'd be good at it. I could make a difference! I could learn so much from them. I could give of myself in a way that I know matters. I'm so eager to learn how I can do this. I'm also considering school...maybe become a school counselor. There is a program at Montevallo that would allow me to get my teaching certificate and my Master in Counseling Education relatively quickly. I'm trying to learn more about Southeastern Bible College too.
So...pray for this to happen! I feel like I'm really learning what I'm supposed to be doing with my life now.

Sad News

A coworker of mine just found out that his 20-year-old daughter was killed in a car accident this morning. My frist reaction was to reach out to him; to do something to take away the pain and the panic. But there isn't anything I can do for him right now. God has to take care of him.
Times like this make you really think about your values. What is really important? Does it really matter if I have a nice car? Does it really matter if Ken notices that I've had 1/16th of an inch trimmed off of my hair? Does it really matter what size I wear?
If I were to be gone tomorrow I don't think I care about any of those things. If a loved one was gone tomorrow I don't think I would care about any of those things. Do the people around me know how much they mean to me? Have a made a Kingdom difference?
What is your regret if tomorrow never comes? I want to do something about mine.

God, please help me to see what really matters. Take away any pride or selfishness

I have and make my heart new. I want to live to appreciate the Joy You have blessed me with. I want to live like tomorrow isn't coming...no regrets. Thank you for my life and my loved ones. I pray in your Son's name, Jesus Christ my Savior! Amen

No More

I will not be negative anymore. I will not mope. I will not complain. This is it...I'm turning over a new leaf (actually, I'm turning an old leaf back over). I used to be known for my ability to find a silver lining around the darkest cloud; for finding the good in the worst; and for staying optimistic when the cards were stacked against me.

My how things have changed.

I'm so negative these days.
"Hi Mandee, how are you today?"
"My life sucks...and you?"

That's no good! Not fun, not enjoyable, not the way a Christian shows Jesus to anyone! So, I'm going to make the JOY OF THE LORD my strength because NOBODY FILLS MY HEART LIKE JESUS. Those are 2 of the songs we sang a church yesterday. Quite perfect for me.

So, this blog is now a negative free zone!

Welcome back, me!

That's Why We Pray

Prayer is powerful.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just thought I would say so. I'm about to be gone for a week. I'm going with my church youth group to JINO (Jesus in New Orleans). I'm really looking forward to it, but I'm also really nervous. I used to go to New Orleans for quite the oposite reason. This is a new experience for me. My first mission trip! I'm also a little nervous about being responsible for other peoples' teenagers for an entire week. I know what I did down there at that age and I don't want any of them to have any part of it!
I'm a little nervous about the work I will be doing too. What if I'm not good at this? Ok, I know God will provide us with everything we need, but I can't help it. Its nervous excitement, I guess.
Anyway...hope you're having a great week!

Vacation - All I Ever Wanted

I have had that song stuck in my head all day. I had a 5-day weekend and now I'm back. At work. At this desk. Working. Yuck.
I really needed the time off. I needed the time with Ken and my family and the kids, but it makes it so much harder to face this place again!
I spent a lot of time with the people I love doing the things I enjoy for my birthday weekend. It was nice, but probably one of the most sedate birthdays I have ever had. Up until this year, I have spent the month of May making sure everyone knew it was my birthday month. Why is 26 so much less exciting? I'm almost disappointed in myself.
I'm not disappointed in anyone else. In fact, everyone that loves me did what they normally would for my birthday and it was quite lovely! In fact, Amber gave me a painting she did of a boot...her very first piece that her art teacher didn't touch and its mine!!! I can't tell you how much that means to me :)
So, anyway...great weekend, not so happy to get back here. But my attitude is different. I'm feeling more secure and settled now. I'm sure God's got much more work to do on me now though. That was the whole point of this...I got my attitude adjustment. :)
Such a rambler...