Devastation

I don't really have words for it yet...Katrina.
Most people reading this know that my family is in New Orleans. Most of the have been accounted for, but a few are still unreachable. I believe that everyone is ok in my family, but their stuff is not. It is just stuff.
Grandpa's house is probably gone. He built it when I was just a baby. I grew up in that house. Grandpa died about 4 years ago...that's what we had left. We still have the memories.
So many of the places that those memories took place are gone. New Orleans and much of the North Shore are gone.
I wish I knew what to do right now.
I keep crying and praying and then crying some more.
I keep thinking of the people at the Bywater Outreach Center where I worked at JINO. Those people had no money to get out of the city. Their neighborhood is gone. I hope they still have their lives. They have no insurance, no money to rebuild. I want to know where my new little friend, Jacori, is. I want to know that she is safe.
God be with those people.

I'm a Different Book of the Bible Now

You are Ephesians.

Which book of the Bible are you?
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What If God Read My Blog?

I'm feeling kind of far away from Him right now. I'm not totally sure why...just am.
But I was thinking, 'What if God read my blog?' What would I write differently? What topics would I have avoided? What words would I have chosen differently?
I must say that knowing that my church friends are reading this blog does hold me accountable. For instance, when I'm really angry and I want to rant and rave, I hold back and keep myself in check because I know they will be reading. When I want to use this site for gossip, I think about them seeing it. When I want to talk about really shallow and sometimes inappropriate things, I think of what they would see here. My church friends read my blog.
God reads my blog too.
But He doesn't just read my blog. He reads my email too...not just the ones I send. He also reads the ones I receive and should delete, but read them and laugh anyway. He reads the ones I send when I'm mad or just plain wrong. He hears my phone calls, He see my thoughts, He knows everything about me...intimately.
This is a very basic truth that we all learn as little bitty kids. God, like Santa, knows when we've been bad or good (so be good for goodness sake). Why is it so hard for me to remember these things?

• When I am far way, He comes nearer.
  
• When I'm hiding, He is watching even more intently.
  
• When I'm lonely, He is more present than before.
  
• When I'm bad, He is witness to it.
  
• When I'm wrong, He knows it.
  
• When I lie, He is still the Truth.
  

God, are You reading this? You understand what I mean...why don't I?

Oh, and God...thanks for reading!

Offer My Suffering?!?

Has anyone ever told you to offer your suffering up to God? If I've heard it once, I've heard it a thousand times...especially growing up in Catholic school. But what does it mean? How can I make it make sense and then actually use it in my life?
I'm wanting to really find that out. Not that I'm suffering in any serious way right now, but I want to learn to offer all of my complaints to My Father.
All through the New Testament, we are reminded that in our personal sufferings, we are sharing in the sufferings of Jesus Christ. This should be an honor. How am I supposed to see any kind of suffering or pain as an honor? The human part of me says, "Are you crazy? Suffering sucks! Find something to numb the pain and get away from it."
But the Bible tell me to delight in it. Now, I've got all of this information in my head. How do I put it into action? I can tell you that I personally just said a little prayer,

God, I don't like to suffer. I really want to be happy and pain free my
whole life. But I know that this is not possible because the world is
evil. It is because of the work of Satan that I now suffer. I
consider it joy to suffer because I know You and through knowing You intimately,
I recognize evil and it causes me sadness. Father, I offer my hardships to
You. I give You my heart to mold and strengthen through these
difficulties. I know that You are preparing me for something greater and I
trust You to get me through this. I love You, Lord and I know You are with
me during all of the difficult moments of my life. Amen

It may not make a whole lot of sense to you, but it changed my attitude and
gave me relief from my worries. I feel much better about all of the
situations that were dragging me down. It doesn't mean that I suddenly
have a new job or have all the answers to life's relentless questions, but I do
have peace in Jesus.