Wednesday, May 25, 2005

What Book of the Bible Are You?

I am Psalms. And for some reason the cute little graphic and explanation that go with this won't work :(

Which book of the Bible are you?
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Monday, May 23, 2005

Its all in the 'tude

Ok, I'm sure my unhappiness/anxiety has been evident in the last couple of posts. I have decided that I'm going to be happy and content and show the Joy of the Lord! It's time.
There are some things that have to change. I haven't decided how much or what I'm going to change yet, I just know that something has to change.
The first thing to change will be my attitude. My attitude has been BAD...soooooo BAD. I don't know how anyone can stand being around me. I'm distant and sulky and just plain yuck! Shame on me for putting everyone around me through that!
The next thing I am going to change is my mission. I can't keep waiting for it to happen, I have to happen to it and in it. The time is now and I can't ignore God's calling anymore. I won't.
Then I'm going to change the Kingdom. I'm not saying that I can change the world...the world is lost and full of sin. But I can change the Kingdom...maybe God will use me to help just one more soul...if we all let God use us to get one more, we would double the size! How cool would that be? It's like the biggest 'bring a friend day' ever!
So I'm rambling and probably not making much sense. Please hold me accountable...I want to make these changes soon! Now!

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Spit

Have you ever heard the phrase, 'I'm so mad I could spit?' I'm going to spit...I understand the phrase now.
Trust is a big thing with me. I can be too trusting of other people on a superficial level. But if I'm going to let you into my life in an intimate way, its hard for me to trust you. Its even hard for me to trust God sometimes...trust is HUGE!
My trust has been betrayed by a family member and it is so hurtful. I'm angry and sad and disappointed and even a little guilty for ever trusting that what I say in confidence would be kept in confidence. I feel naive and silly. And spittin' mad.
But what do I do? The Bible says I should confront those that I am upset with so that I don't let it build up before forgiving them. But how do I do that without screaming and yelling right now? I don't think I can.
Please pray for me to say the right things and to be forgiving.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Thinking

I don't always enjoy growth or maturity or decisions. In fact, I usually avoid a lot of it. But there comes a time where there isn't anywhere to hide anymore and you've just got to grow up, be mature and make a decision.
Now is one of those times. I keep trying to just say, "OK, God...you just deal with it so I don't have to do anything." Unfortunately, we Christians tend to think that God is our own personal cleaning crew who will clean up every mess we make. While that may be true to a certain extent, He has blessed us with minds and souls so that we can do a little of the work ourselves. I don't wanna!
I don't want to decide what to do. I don't want to make the wrong choice. That's part of what I'm afraid of. I think I'm also afraid of having to live with either choice that I make. One might be easier than the other, but it may not be the right one. But how do I know?!?!?
Sigh...this stinks.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Back by popular demand...

OK, Khris...here is an entry. I have once again fooled the internet gate keepers here at work and I can blog from my desk!!! I used to have a really great work ethic...really!
I'm in a funk. I'm tired of being in a funk and I'm tired of benig confused about my funkiness. Does anyone else ever feel really down and that makes everything in life seem bad? But you think that you are down because everything in life is, in fact, bad. That's my funk...don't like it one bit.
I need a vacation from my life. I need some time to pull myself back together. I just finished a really great healing Bible study. I thought I would feel so amazing after it. And I do in some ways. But I also feel very sad. Some of me is healed, but I feel like there is something else that is holding me back. There is another place where I need healing, but I can't figure out what it is. I'm praying for God to prepare me and then reveal it to me. I need His Wisdom and His truth right now.
I know the old saying, "God doesn't give you more that you can handle." Mother Teresa added, "I just wish He didn't trust me so much." I hear ya sister! Sometimes I feel like there must be something HUGE that God wants me to do because Satan sure is working hard to stop me. Am I under attack still? I started to feel comfortable and let my guard down, so now Satan is after me again. Is that what is happening?
God, You are so magnificent.
There are not enough words that are great enough to praise you.
You provide all that we need.
You protect us from ourselves and from evil.
You guide us through darkness to reach the light again.
Please be with me, Lord.
Show me the truth whether I want to see it or not.
Grant me more of Your wisdom so that I may discern the truth you show to me.
Please bless the people around me that have to deal with me right now.
Please help me quickly and fully heal.
Amen