I don't always enjoy growth or maturity or decisions. In fact, I usually avoid a lot of it. But there comes a time where there isn't anywhere to hide anymore and you've just got to grow up, be mature and make a decision.
Now is one of those times. I keep trying to just say, "OK, God...you just deal with it so I don't have to do anything." Unfortunately, we Christians tend to think that God is our own personal cleaning crew who will clean up every mess we make. While that may be true to a certain extent, He has blessed us with minds and souls so that we can do a little of the work ourselves. I don't wanna!
I don't want to decide what to do. I don't want to make the wrong choice. That's part of what I'm afraid of. I think I'm also afraid of having to live with either choice that I make. One might be easier than the other, but it may not be the right one. But how do I know?!?!?
Sigh...this stinks.
Friday, May 13, 2005
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