Sunday, November 16, 2014

Battling the Holiday Blues

They say that the first year is tough - especially the holidays.
I'd say "they" are right.
The last 8 months have been full of sadness and grief.  There's been a lot of stress and a lot of frustration when I remembered I couldn't call my Mommy to vent about that stress.
Now that the holidays are near, there have been many times when I wanted to call Mom and share an idea or ask for a recipe.  Those times are always followed by anger and frustration that I can't call her.  She won't be here to cook, worry about getting the house clean enough, take a ride to see the leaves changing, or force us all to go around the table and say what we are thankful for.  She won't be here to decorate, sing off-key, or spend hours at Wal-mart searching for the just-right gift for each of her grandchildren (and unknowingly clearing the shelves with her oxygen tank).
Her presence will so obviously be missing from all festivities this year and every year.
That makes me so sad.
It makes me sad enough to want to skip every holiday.
But she wouldn't want that.
Mom LOVED the holidays - all of them.  No matter her circumstances, she always made them special in the best way she knew how.  She loved to decorate and cook.  She loved Christmas music.  She loved having everyone together - family and friends!  And she passed that on to me
This year I've decided I'm going to ROCK these holidays for Mom!  I'm sure I will cry a lot. I'm sure I will feel like somebody is missing.  I'm sure I will have many moments of wanting to crawl in bed until this time of year is over.  But I won't.
I will celebrate Thanksgiving - celebrate the ancestors that she was so proud to learn about - who sailed to a new land on the Mayflower.  If it weren't for them, Mom wouldn't have been born several generations later.
I will Celebrate Christmas - celebrate the fact that God sent his Son to live and die so that I may rejoice with him for all eternity along-side my Mom!  I will bake a birthday cake for Jesus - a tradition Mom loved.  I will sing Christmas songs at the top of my lungs, no matter how I sound, just like Mom did.  I will decorate my tree with every "tacky" ornament we've got and be proud!  I will be sappy and emotional and tell my family how much I love them - just like Mom.  Clark Griswold's got nothin' on us!
So, this year GO BIG OR GO HOME if you want to spend the holidays with me!
Be warned!  My house could look like a Who-ville house this year!

post signature

1 comment:

Kelly said...

"This year I've decided I'm going to ROCK these holidays for Mom!" YES! I am officially inspired! Love you, Mandee. This is going to be fabulous.