Tempting

Temptation...isn't that a constant thing?
I grew up believing that even thinking about sinning was a sin. If you had any kind of thought that was not good, you were sinning. (Call it Catholic guilt, if you will). How much truth is there in that? God tells us that we will be tempted. He knows that Satan will do whatever he can to turn us away from the Lord. So, shouldn't we expect temptation? When we act on our temptation isn't that where we decide whether we sin or not?
So, I have noticed that I beat myself up for being tempted. Have I become a perfectionist? Is that why I procrastinate? Because I don't want to do something that I can't do perfectly? I expect myself to be perfect because I am a Christian. In reality, it is hard to be a Christian...to know what you want to do because it is right, but to do what is wrong because you want to do that too. Then you are sorry because you love Jesus and you haven't done what He would have done.
I find myself expecting people close to me to be perfect now too. I expect them to not even think about doing wrong, especially wrong against me. I forget that they are human and flawed just like I am. My feeligs are hurt because they aren't putting others (namely me) first.
If thinking about doing wrong is a sin, then there is no free will. Then you are saying that evil (ie. Satan and his demons) cannot get to you or cannot influence you. I am starting to believe even more that these negative thoughts are directly from Big Red. He and his minions know how to get us (just like a used car salesman) and they come at your weak spots from all directions.
I will admit that some of my negative thoughts are my own choice, but that is because I have been tempted and fallen to that temptaion...not because I am evil and certainly not because I am not a Christian.
Once again, I'm rambling...just thought I would share.