In the Proverbs 31 Ministries Online Bible Study, I've had to reflect on my identity while reading Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst.
How do I identify myself?
Well, I'm Ken's wife, Jennifer, Amber, and Whitney's step-mom, Bob and Karen's daughter, a former teacher, etc.
How do I define myself?
Sadly, my initial answer isn't so great. It isn't good for me and it isn't a good example for anyone else.
Yup. It's true. That's how I sometimes see myself. As I read that, knowing that others will see it, I feel even more insecure. I'm embarrassed that I think these things. I'm embarrassed that I would be so hard on myself. I'm embarrassed because I'm sure this isn't how everyone else sees me.
I'm mostly embarrassed because this is NOT how God made me!
After reading and reflecting and praying, here is how I want to define myself:
Yes! I am beautiful! Because God says so!
However, that isn't even how I want to be defined. Not outer beauty, anyway.
I want to be defined as a woman after God's own heart. A woman who has so much self-control that she cannot be called anything but obedient to him. A woman who is so full of love for her Lord that she follows His desires for her life and not her own fleshly cravings.
How can I do this?
Well, I've got to make a habit of it. Reading the Word and understanding how He sees me, how He created me, and what He wants from me, helps me know Him more.
By understanding the Creator I can understand the creation.
Let that sink in for just a minute - I need to! I want to know Him so well and be so in-tune with his heart that I can see His will and His purpose in my life.
I am 100% sure His purpose for me isn't eating, fretting over my weight, dieting, and being disappointed. There is so much more. I WAS MADE FOR MORE!
I've got to practice better health habits - eating right and getting exercise. The more I take care of my body, the more I appreciate it - flaws and all! He did not make this body just to be thin! He made this body for His great works! I WAS MADE FOR MORE!
That is OBEDIENCE! Knowing him and loving Him by being the best you can be FOR HIM!