Wednesday, September 18, 2013

I Love My Husband 2

Today I wan to focus on changing myself.
Do I think I need to change?  Of course not!  I'm a perfect wife and my husband should thank God every day for a woman like me! :)  Right?
I can think of things that my husband needs to change to make me happy, but I can't change him.  And every time I try to force him to be different, it backfires.
Please tell me I'm not alone on this!

So, today I will try to see what I can change to cultivate more peace in my marriage.

I cannot control his tone of voice.  BUT I can control my own reaction to it.
I cannot control what time he gets home for dinner.  BUT I can change how much of my mood depends on the hands of the clock.
I cannot change whether he rinses his dishes or not.  BUT I can control whether I give him the silent treatment for  "not respecting my job as homemaker."
Now, I know that these are all minor details, but I promise they feel major when I'm letting them rob my household and my marriage of peace.
Today I focus on peace and MY role in that peace.

Father, please bring your peace into our home.  Help us be aware of our own moods and attitudes.  Help us desire Your perfect peace above our own pride.  Remove the hurt, attitudes, and misconceptions that create distress.  Help us treat each other with respect without judgment.  Keep our expectations of each other realistic.  Protect us from elevating stress that can lead to fights.  Thank you for loving us and for giving us each other.  We love you, Lord.

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Jessica Clement said...

Amen! Mandee. Good prayer. I'm just gonna go ahead and admit what I it is-I DO react the right way 99% of the time. But my motives are horrible. My objective is always so that he will realize the HE is HORRIBLE and I am an awesomely pious and patient woman whom he does not deserve. It's bad. Real bad. Well, there is peace-and that's a good thing. But over time resentment builds up (something we probably all experience) and I all of a sudden don't like being married and think what a fab idea it would be to tell him so. Think of these conversations as a laundry list of things I don't like about you that I've developed over the last-say, 6 years. And I'm gonna pop them on ya all at once-in five minutes.

It's soooo not fair. It creates big problems and resentments out of little ones. The truth is I LOVE HIM. He is most certainly the person God made for me. I know that. I'm praying your prayer and also for myself to realize that I do not want to be the servant who was forgiven the unpayable debt only to demand small debts from others.

Thanks for your insight. It really got me thinking:) And thanks for your heart. It is nice to be reminded we all struggle in our relationships and marriages are no exception!


Mandee said...

I hear ya! My motives are often the wrong ones. Sometimes I hold my tongue when I really shouldn't and then it does come out like a rocket at some point. It is so hard to know the right time and the wrong time. I guess that's why I asked God to help me figure that out. Sometimes it's just about my pride.