I copied

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME
1. Losing people I love
2. Spiders
3. Demons
THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND
1. Love
2. Hate
3. Chemistry
THREE THINGS I AM WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. Brown velvet pants
2. boots
3. denim jacket
THREE THINGS ON MY DESK
1. Candy Canes
2. Pink feather pen
3. pictures
THREE THINGS IN MY ROOM
1. bed
2. treadmill
3. TV
THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE
1. Forgive myself
2. Write a book
3. Bring somebody to God
THREE GOOD WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY
1. Goofy
2. Caring
3. Sarcastic
THREE BAD THINGS ABOUT MY PERSONALITY
1. Needy
2. Too trusting
3. Insecure
THREE THINGS MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME
1. I'm not always very happy
2. I got a high ACT score
3. I'm famous ;)
THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST
1. Oh geez
2. super
3. like
THREE PLACES I WANT TO GO
1. Isle of Capri
2. NY, NY
3. Greece

Well, that was fun...

Using only 5 words, describe how 2004 went for you.
Change, learning, God, love, disappointment
Name something you did in 2004 that you'll probably never do again.
Get Baptized...only had to do that once!
What did you learn about yourself in 2004?
I'm not as laid back or easy going as I've always thought I am. I am disappointed by my own perfectionism.
What notable news event from 2004 will stand out most in your memory?
Tsunami...can't get that out of my head!
Name something you purchased in 2004 that you really, really like.
Ken's Christmas present...so glad to give it to him!

Ho Ho Ho

Why does it take so long for Christmas to get here and yet its gone so quickly? On a worldly note...I love the holiday! I love shopping for the people I love. I love thinking of the perfect gift and then finding it...for half price! I love knowing that friends and family will feel special when they see what I have chosen for them. I love baking (even when I burn stuff). I love how peoples' attitudes change, even if just for a day or 2. I love being with everyone I care about most. I love watching the faces of children as they soak up the magic of Christmas. I love hearing change clink in the bottom of the Salvation Army bucket. I love smelling Mom's gumbo on Christmas Eve. I love still feeling a little giddy when I hear Santa coming on the fire engine.
More than all of that, I love the reason we have a holiday on December 25th. I love Jesus. I love that he was born so that I could be born again. I love that he was born to die so that I didn't have to die. I love that no gift I give will ever match the gift He has given to us all. I love singing praises that our Savior was born. I love the candle light that reminds me of the little light the kings followed over 2000 years ago. I love that Christmas is not just December 25th, but part of my salvation that lasts all year and all my life...until my life is eternal.
As Garry said...I'm looking forward to spending eternity with you, fellow Christians.
Hope you had a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Things to Do in 2005

• Go to the Alabama Theater

  Go camping

  Write

  Pay off 2 credit cards

  Learn more about photography

  Keep a plant alive

  Get a plant

  Fix my car fender

  Fly in a hot air balloon

  Be able to wear everything in my closet (so that means get rid of all the skinny clothes or lose weight)

My Wish List

Posting this not because I think that anyone reading this is going to buy me a present, but because I lose lists...make them all the time and then lose them...if its here, its in cyberspace forever!
Pampered Chef: Kithchen Shears, Stoneware Loaf Pan, Rectangular Lid/Bowl, Rectangle Stone, *Stoneware Storage Rack, Small Batter Bowl, Large Scoop, Pocket Thermometer, Large Grooved Cutting Board, Several Quickut Paring Knives, Serated Bread Knife, All Purpose Spreader, Garlic Press, Large Spreader, Pastry Brush, Spoon Rest, Twixit Clip Combo Pack (lots), *i-Slice (2), Southwest Seasoning Mix, Large serving Tongs, Slice and Serve, Chilzane Rectangular Server, Soups, Stews, and Chilis book
Digital Camera-at least 4 megapixels
Laptop that I can do my editing on
Tote Bag..big enough for books, but small enough to fit in my desk
Watch
My fender fixed
Potato Ricer...don't really know what that is, but I think I want one...to drain my spinach
Christmas Tree skirt

The Whole Point

Garry summed it up at the Christmas party at church last night..."I am anticipating spending eternity with you." WOW!!!
What comfort in those words...what hope...what joy...what love...what faith! He (and the rest of us Christians) truly believe that we will be spending forever together with Jesus Christ. And isn't that the whole point of this season?
We will out grow the clothes, break the toys, lose the earrings that we receive as gifts this year but we will never out grow, break, or lose our salvation and lasting union with the Lord. Jesus...the man and the Christ was born to insure that.
I have spent a lot of time and money making sure I have the best gift I can get for the people I care about. I have worked hard in my kitchen (and even cried) over the cookies I'm baking for others to enjoy. I have put so much in what I am doing to celebrate December 25th that I haven't taken the time to put that much (and more) in celebrating Jesus' birthday.
God, please let me understand what this season is all about. Help me celebrate your birth and life every day of every year...not just at Christmas. Let me show people how much I love them, not just with gifts and not just at Christmas. Thank you for living in my shoes and saving me from myself. Amen!!!

Tempting

Temptation...isn't that a constant thing?
I grew up believing that even thinking about sinning was a sin. If you had any kind of thought that was not good, you were sinning. (Call it Catholic guilt, if you will). How much truth is there in that? God tells us that we will be tempted. He knows that Satan will do whatever he can to turn us away from the Lord. So, shouldn't we expect temptation? When we act on our temptation isn't that where we decide whether we sin or not?
So, I have noticed that I beat myself up for being tempted. Have I become a perfectionist? Is that why I procrastinate? Because I don't want to do something that I can't do perfectly? I expect myself to be perfect because I am a Christian. In reality, it is hard to be a Christian...to know what you want to do because it is right, but to do what is wrong because you want to do that too. Then you are sorry because you love Jesus and you haven't done what He would have done.
I find myself expecting people close to me to be perfect now too. I expect them to not even think about doing wrong, especially wrong against me. I forget that they are human and flawed just like I am. My feeligs are hurt because they aren't putting others (namely me) first.
If thinking about doing wrong is a sin, then there is no free will. Then you are saying that evil (ie. Satan and his demons) cannot get to you or cannot influence you. I am starting to believe even more that these negative thoughts are directly from Big Red. He and his minions know how to get us (just like a used car salesman) and they come at your weak spots from all directions.
I will admit that some of my negative thoughts are my own choice, but that is because I have been tempted and fallen to that temptaion...not because I am evil and certainly not because I am not a Christian.
Once again, I'm rambling...just thought I would share.

Allegiance

As everyone knows, today is election day. I woke up this morning, said a prayer for our country, the voters, and ALL of the candidates and prepared to cast my vote. On the way to the polling place, I was listening to the local Christian station. They played Lee Greenwood's "Proud to Be an American" and then an acapella version of God Bless America. The next thing I knew, my eyes were full of tears. They really tugged at my patriotism, but not only that...they tugged at my allegiance to my country and to my God. How lucky am I to be in a country where men died to give me the right to vote...where women went through torture to make sure that other women would be free to vote...where we can not only have an opinion, but use it to make a difference in our world...where we can disagree and still work together...where we know God has blessed us and we are free to spread that GOOD NEWS! I was just really touched by how profound election day is...and so few of us realize that.
I learned another lesson this morning. While waiting in line, a lady slipped and fell in a puddle on the floor as she came into the polling place. Every gasped and a few people asked her is she was ok. One man even moved toward her, but she said she was OK and waived him off. I was torn between walking over to her (about 20 feet) to help her up and keeping my place in line. She looked shaken up, but seemed ok. A few minutes later, I was on the phone with Ken (who had already finished voting...no fair) and she said a few words to everyone in line. She said that she was really broken up that nobody had helped her and she left the line. We heard later that she had gone upstairs to report the fall and she got to vote, but we all felt pretty bad in our part of the line. You know, if somebody had asked me how I would have reacted to that situation before, I would have said that I would help her up and make sure she was OK. But I didn't do that...none of us did. I don't think that I was so worried about losing my place in line...I'm sure they would have let me back in. I don't think I was worried about embarrassing myself. I think I just wasn't sure what she wanted us to do. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it and cause her more embarrassment...you never know how somebody will react. I'm just disappointed in myself that my natural instinct was not to go straight to her and help her up. Shame on me.

So Sad

I'm sad...the websense thingy at work won't let me log onto blogspot from my computer anymore. It says that it is an "Uncategorized" site...pooh.
So, I will be posting a lot less often now and I won't get to check up on everyone else so often either...I'll miss you, Blogger!

Barking Chickens

I'm getting over myself now, by the way.
So, this was the weekend that HC and Bonnie moved right down the road...about 200 miles down the road.
Friday night, HC and Bonnie took Ken, Whitney, and me out for dinner. It was nice to get out after a long week at work. Whitney was fun...as usual. HC and Bonnie were tired from packing, so it was pretty low key.
Saturday: The fateful day of the move. It seemed that half of Crossbridge was at their house...it was touching to see how many people love them so much. We had a good time, a different kind of fellowship. I got to see some people in a whole new light which was interesting and entertaining at the same time! I think that watching Ken and Garry engineer the packing of the truck was one of the highlights! Although, trying to get Oliver the giant cat in his box for the trip was quite an experience as well.
Turns out that one 24' truck was not going to do it, so H and I went and got a 15-footer. This meant that Ken and I would be making the trip with them since Ken would need to drive a truck and I would need to follow to take Ken home. Turns out they needed my vehicle to carry their art work, so it all worked out well.
Garry offered a lovely prayer just before we hit the road...I'm not sure if there were any dry eyes as they hugged everyone. But this isn't goodbye...Bonnie does not say goodbye.
Our 4 vehicle caravan hit the road around 2 o'clock headed for Ramer, TN. It was a pleasant ride. I spent most of it switching back and forth between the Bama game and the Auburn game on the radio and calling Ken to update him on scores. (The radio in his 'antique' U-Hal did not work). We hit some heavy rain, but made it through to sunshine just before we got to our destination.
The house is in the exact middle of nowhere. I love it. Its small and charming...the land is beautiful. I could have stayed. Its so close to Bonnie's parents' house that you can walk right to the dining room table for every meal! And let me tell you, that is something I would do! Mrs. Howell (Granny) can cook. We had a table full of fresh country food at every meal (and we weren't even there 24 hours). It was wonderful...cooked with love...you could taste it.
Now to the title of this blog...H and Bonnie's grandson says that the chickens bark in the morning...he was not kidding. That's how I woke up (in the room Bonnie grew up in) on Saturday morning...opened the door to the smell of bacon, eggs, and biscuits. Seriously...this is the life.
Bonnie especially kept trying to get us to leave so we wouldn't do anymore work. HC kept saying how much he appreciated us coming up, but I really wanted to thank them...for several reasons. It was an adventure! I like road trips, I didn't consider it a burden at all. I loved meeting the family and getting to know a little bit about this place that is about to be blessed with these two! It was a great way for me to accept what was happening. I can see where they are, I know how far it is, I know what it will be like...I can handle it better now. And I can't wait to go back.
I just have to tell you about the goat...Panda Bear. He's really cute, but really stinky! Did you know that goats pee on themselves? YUCK!

Case of the Red Face

Ever been so sad that you are mad at everything? I've got a mean case of the red face.
We got back about 4 hours ago from dropping HC and Bonnie off at their new home in Tennessee. I am so sad. I want to cry, but I can't because I keep getting mad about 'stuff.' Everything is making me mad. I'm getting mad about stuff that I don't even have the information about yet. How silly is this? I'm mad at life and I'm even a little ticked at God right now. I really hate that feeling. Guess who is really feeling the wrath right now though...yep, its Ken. I think he would say that I am high maintenance right now. And I am, but he knew what he was getting into.
I could punch holes in the wall.
We hurried back for LifeWalk tonight...Khris was the only other person there. I'm sure that everyone has their reasons for not being there tonight, but it was upsetting after everything we had been doing this weekend with H and Bonnie...I was ready to share stories and pictures and nobody was there. How disappointing. That was the first thing...
Dinner was fine...I think I was too tired to enjoy it and I wasn't really great to the kids, but they probably didn't notice. I feel bad when I do that though.
Then Ken said 1 thing that annoyed me, didn't really make me mad, but he though I was mad, so I got mad...and so on and so on. You know how that goes. So all I feel like doing is crying and letting him hug me, but I'm not with him because he thought I was mad and so I got mad. Now, somebody please tell me how that makes sense...
Then I decided to sit still and write in my journal...it made me mad. I'm mad because I feel really distant from God right when I really need him. And I'm mad that I want my Mommy and Daddy right now. I'm a grown woman!!! I'm mad that I don't feel God or hear Him right now. I'm mad that I'm letting that make me mad. I'm mad that I am admitting it out loud. I'm mad that I missed church this morning and I didn't even get a devotional at LifeWalk. I'm mad that God doesn't snap His fingers and fix everything that I see as wrong with me, my life, this world. I'm mad.
I'm mad that I can't get in touch with Ken to tell him whats going on right now. I'm mad that I won't get a good chance to talk to him for a while. I'm mad that when I do get those good opportunities I always seem to waste them. I'm mad that things don't always go my way. I'm mad that I'm so self centered. I'm mad that I'm a brat.
I'm mad that I can admit that I'm wrong, but that I still feel the same way. I'm mad that I can always seem to justify my anger. I'm really mad.
I think I'll try to sleep now.