On my 2 mile run today, I had many thoughts of quitting running.
I feel like I've lost my passion and excitement for it.
And it's still hard.
Then I got to thinking - every time I've been pushed or challenged in my life I've given up.
Don't get me wrong, I've been through a lot of hard times that I've really worked through, but that was because there was no other choice. It was either push through or lose everything.
But, when the stakes aren't that high, I tend to give up. I wasn't that great at dancing, so I quit. I wasn't great at music, so I quit that. I wasn't great at basketball, so I didn't try out when my friends did.
Why didn't I just try harder and enjoy the hard work?
Because then everyone would know I wasn't fabulous. In my mind, not failing meant succeeding. It doesn't mean that at all. Not trying is a bigger failure!
Back to my running...I'm not a fabulous runner. In fact, I'm a pretty terrible runner. I'm slow and I'm pretty sure I look like Phoebe from behind. (Friends fans will get that).
But I'm doing it! I'm pushing through when it gets too hard. I won't ever win a marathon. I won't ever be the best runner on the trail. But, I'm still a runner. And I'm better than I was when I started!
So, when my legs are cramping, there's sweat dripping off of me, and it feels like my lungs may pop...I'll keep on running!
I've only got me to prove myself to!