Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Losing Steam

I'm having a hard time sticking to my plan. I need some serious motivation.  I'm still working out 6 days a week and I'm still eating low-carb, but I really don't want to.  And I've had some serious moments of weakness.  Saturday night I had chicken nuggets, french fries, and a strawberry cream pie at McDonald's. Not so much low carb or lean protein and leafy greens.  I thoroughly enjoyed it.  And I thoroughly un-did a lot of hard work.
My scale is showing my weakness too.  I've re-gained a couple of pounds.  Not cool.  I know the scale isn't the only barometer.  I had lunch with two of my closest friends yesterday.  They had not seen me in a couple of weeks and they both commented that I look like I've lost weight.  I know I'm firmer, the work-outs have done that, but my nutrition plan isn't working for me, I don't think.  I need to do some serious tweaking, but I know it's going to be hard.  That makes me want to give up.  I keep thinking I'll just keep working out, but eat whatever I want.  At least I'll be strong if I'm big.  Not healthy thinking.
So, I'm in need of some serious motivation and a better program.  I don't want a"diet".  I want a way of eating that I can realistically stick to for life.  I want a healthy way of eating forever that I know I can stick to without having to obsess over it.  That's the only thing that works for me.
Since I need to get my excitement back, I decided to re-visit the book that first inspired me to start this journey.  I blogged about Candace Cameron Bure's book, Reshaping it All, before.  Here are some more of my thoughts after reading.

As I was flipping through the pages in the book, I found something I had underlined in the first few chapters:
"It can seem so alluring at times as we embark on new projects, but once we're involved in the process, we discover that reaching the finish line might take some tears and some sweat."
My initial excitement has lasted longer that it usually does.  I've just run out of enthusiasm and I've got to think about the reasons I am doing this.  
I want to be healthy.  I want to avoid things like diabetes, joint problems, and high blood pressure that run in my family.
I want to have energy.  I want to feel good while I'm working in Honduras.  I want the energy to play with the kids in my life - including running!
I want to be strong.  I don't want to doubt whether I can do something before I even try it.  I know I'm not going to become superman, but I'd like the confidence it takes to attempt just about anything.
I want to be comfortable in my own skin.  My weight and weakness has held me back long enough.  I want to live my life without even thinking about how I look.
Those are the things that need to drive me.  As Candace says in that same chapter:
"There is a place of freedom, when the trying just becomes living."  YES!

It has become even more clear to me that self-discipline is the true struggle for me.  I've proven that I have it and I can be very disciplined when I put my mind to it.  I've also proven that it is so easy to abandon all self-control.
"Struggling for the things we get teaches us the all-important lesson of self-discipline."
What have I struggled for?  Have I seen any results?  The answer is yes!  They just aren't the results that I thought were most important.  I've had to give away some jeans because they are now too big to stay on.  I've had to buy new under garments (woo!).  People have said they can see a difference.  Most of all, I FEEL stronger.  I like that feeling.  I even dug a ditch!!!  So, I've struggled for those things and I've achieved them.  That teaches me that self-discipline does produce results.  If I keep it up, I'm sure there will be more results to enjoy.

Candace sites a verse from scripture that I have been reminded of several times in my life.  It is from Matthew 6:34.
Therefor do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day is enough trouble of its own.
Candace adds:
"If you can make it through one day, you have the same ability to make it through each day that follows."
I've done this for at least 60 days so far.  I can do it one more...today.  And then I can do it the next.  Today is the only battle I have to fight right now.  I do need to plan ahead as far as my schedule and food planning is concerned so that i can rely on a plan rather than impulse, but I don't have to actually fight those battles until they get here.

I think her lessons on eating, such as stopping half way through a meal to evaluate how much more I really need to eat, are the lessons I need to refresh myself on now.  I've been eating low-carb, but I don't  think I've been paying attention to much other than that.  What kind of nutrition is my body actually getting?
There is so much more from this book that I'd like to share, but for now, this is enough!
Thanks for struggling along with me!  Now, I've got to Shred!

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