Who are My Witnesses?

My friends and I are beginning week 3 of the Couch 2 5k program; I am about 1 week into strictly counting my calories; I am still pretty hungry ;).

Every matter must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.  2 Cor. 13:1

Who are my witnesses?

I know that my help comes from the Lord.  He has provided me with the Spirit of discipline and self-control.  He is my first witness.

I am responsible for my own choices.  God leads me to the water, but doesn't force me to drink. It is up to me to choose the right things.  I am my own witness.

Ya gotta have friends, right?  Thank GOD I have the most AMAZING friends! I can't even count my blessings when it comes to friendships.  I have 2 friends who are meeting me 3 days a week to run.  I have another friend who walks with me or brings me to her gym when our schedules allow.  She pushes me to work harder every time. I have a large group of friends who have joined me on Facebook in so many health challenges.  We encourage each other and hold each other accountable.  These amazing women are my third witness(es).

Since can identify my witnesses, what do I do with them?

I need my first witness with every breath.  I must stay in communion with God.  As long as there is breath in this body, I need His guidance.  I need to keep myself aware of His guidance by reading His word and listening for His voice.  I can't do it without Him!

My job, as my own witness, is to monitor my own behavior.  As my husband would say, "I need to check-up from the neck-up."  What is my focus?  Am I being aware of my behaviors - food intake, exercise, laziness level?  Do I have a plan for my meals and snacks and workouts?

My third group of witnesses hold me accountable.  They encourage me when I don't feel like exercising.  They remind me that it isn't worth it when I'm hovering over a piece of cake.  They pat me on the back when I lose an ounce.  I can't do it without them!

So, who are your three witnesses?  Are you including God in your quest for health and fitness and self-control?  Do you keep watch over yourself?  Do you have a partner, or a group of partners?

Character Building

You and I both know that there has to be some serious motivation to do something that is difficult.  I need a really good reason to keep on keepin' on.

When I first start a new project it can seem exciting and almost easy.  I start to think to myself, "Why have I put this off for so long?  It isn't so hard!"  But, once I'm in the thick of things it just seems like a lot of hard work with little pay-off.

"It builds character" is a phrase I heard my Mom say more than a few times in my life.  Every time I was faced with a challenge, she would remind me that I was becoming a better person for it.  It used to really bother me - especially when it was something that she could easily fix for me.  I understand what she meant.  It isn't about the easy way out. It is about changing the circumstances if I can or changing my attitude.  So now I hear Mom's voice telling me that I'm becoming better.
I'm becoming disciplined.

Being that I am just a couple of days into my deal with myself, things don't seem too bad.  I stayed pretty well within my calorie goal and I got my exercise in, even though the weather was icky.  I am proud of what I accomplished, but trying not to lose focus.
I took care of yesterday, now it's time to take care of today!

Let's face it.  The size on the tag in my jeans isn't really what's bothering me. It is the fact that I have had such a lack of self-control that upsets me.  If I had really taken care of myself, the number on that tag would be smaller.

So, I'm focused on today - not yesterday and not tomorrow.

First Day - Forgiveness

When I got my sudden burst of motivation back yesterday, I had already started thinking about where my focus would need to be the next day.
When I woke up this morning, I opened my John Piper Devotional app on my phone and read this verse.

"Your sins are forgiven."  Luke 7:48

I've struggled with guilt in the past.  I've given God a lot of reasons to forgive me.  Actually, I've given myself a lot of reasons to need it.  But I knew this verse wasn't speaking to me about any of the "the big ones" from my past when I read it this morning.

Step one - ask for forgiveness from my sins of gluttony and laziness.

Ouch.

In order to ask for forgiveness for something, I have to admit that it has been an issue.  Those are embarrassing things to admit.

I am slothful.

I am gluttonous.

I have made food and laziness an idol in my life.  That sounds so ridiculous coming out of my mouth, but it is the truth. It's not just about food - it's about what I'm letting control me.  I've made food and lounging my golden calf.  I have come to idolize both.

Father, please forgive my selfishness. Forgive the way I have treated this body that you created in an abusive way with food and lack of exercise.  Forgive the way I have taken the health and abilities you've given me for granted.  Forgive my self-pity, vanity, and idolatry. Forgive me for checking-out of this beautiful life you've made for me. Help me to see every day as an opportunity to truly live for that day.  Create a new heart that desires health and wellness.  Help me to think of You rather than treats.  Help me feel sorrowful enough that I won't want to sin this way anymore.  Help me take care of myself in a way that betters my ability to share Your love with others.
Amen

28 days to lose 8 pounds

I'm in an abusive relationship.  With myself.  And food.

Ok...it's out there!  I have to stop it right now.

So, I'm just biting the bullet.  I am going to lose 2 pounds a week for the next 4 weeks.  By May 22, I will write a blog post to tell you all that I have lost 8 pounds.

I was on a roll for a while there.  I was making some really good progress.  I was feeling good, enjoying making healthy choices in my life.
People were starting to notice a big change in me and I was able to tell them that it was all from God.  It was the fruit of the Spirit - self-control.
Well, then I let gluttony take over again.  Sure, I said that constant travel and the holidays made it impossible to stay on track, but that simply isn't true.  Those circumstances made it more difficult, but not impossible.

I didn't make a plan and stick to it.  I didn't decide what I would choose before being faced with a choice.

I chose impulse and indulgence.  I chose to let food back into my life as entertainment rather than fuel.

Something happened today that made me realize I was living in the past and the future, but not the present.  I was holding onto each mistake I had made while hoping for a future that isn't happening yet. I was failing to live within each day.  I have been wasting days.

God has given me an opportunity to see more clearly.

Now I'm choosing discipline over disgust and disappointment.

I'm choosing to focus on what really matters in life.

What can you expect from me over the next 4 weeks?

1. Daily Bible study.  The only way for my mind to have control over my body is the renewal of my mind in the Spirit.
2. Every choice will be deliberate - food, exercise, time management, etc.
3. I will share as openly and often as I can.

Will you join me in this newest challenge?

Contest & Recipe Challenge!

I have a dear friend at church who is battling ALS, several food allergies, and a multitude of other health problems.  Bless his heart, he needs some help finding recipes for foods he can eat.

He has requested help creating an oatmeal cookie from the small list of foods that his body can handle.  While I am up to the challenge, I realize that some of you out there may be much more qualified!

So...here's a contest for you!

Rules:

• The ingredients must come from the food list
• The recipe must be simple enough for the already busy members of his family to create
• The cookie cannot be too crunchy, as his body is weak
• The winner will be chosen at random!  We hope to be able to use all of the recipes for variety!
• Food list:
• water
• granny smith apple - limited amount
• banana - limited amount
• lemon
• butter -limited amount
• coconut oil
• flaxseed oil
• eggs
• sea salt - limited amount
• pure cane sugar - limited amount
• raw honey - limited
• baking soda
• garbonzo beans - organic
• oats - organic
• brown rice flour
• light kidney beans - organic

Deadline: Saturday, April 27, 2013 at midnight central time

What do you win?  Three (3)  Bible verse decals of your choice!    One for you, and 2 to give away!

Psalm 23:5 You prepare a table before me...

PLEASE feel free to share this contest far and wide!  I want to provide the best help for my friend.  He has also asked for tips on staying gluten free.  I know there are plenty of web sites out there, but he would like some tips from people who have experienced this need.

How do I enter?  Please submit your recipe in the comments below or by email mandeelion@gmail.com.

Thank you so much!!!

Thoughts About the Boston Marathon Bombing

I haven't blogged in a very long time.  Life has been very full and very busy.  I've done a lot that I'd love to share with you, but I haven't made the time to do so.

In light of the bombing yesterday, I want to take some time to get my thoughts down.  Even if nobody else ever reads this, I'm doing this for me and my family.

The same question keeps spinning through my head:

Will you live in fear or live in faith?

I choose faith.

There are so many things in this world - in this life - that cause fear.  If I let fear control how I live, my wardrobe would consist of a helmet, flack jacket, knee pads, and steel toed shoes - maybe even a gas mask.  My home would have 8 foot concrete walls and be airtight and underground.  My family would always be within reach, which means we would never leave home.  I wouldn't even trust anyone else with any information, any of my property, or any of my family.

I would live paralyzed and alone.

If I chose to venture out of my home, I would never enjoy life the way it was mean to be enjoyed.  I would be too busy analyzing situations to enjoy them.  I would be too busy trying to control everything that happened around me to even see the beauty in any of it.

But I choose faith.

Faith means that I know there is evil in this world.  But, I know my God is in this world.  I know that God has my future and it is not here.  I know that God holds the future of my loved ones - and our future is together with Him.  

I know that he holds the future of those who do things like planting bombs in the middles of hundreds of thousands of people.

He holds their future.  He wants them to come to Him - to know Him. 

The fallen side of me doesn't think that's fair.  I want to believe that they will be punished in the end.  They will live through the terror that they have caused others, over and over again for all eternity.  

But that isn't for me to decide or to even know.

I choose faith.  My faith that tells me that God loves me.  He loves all of us.

I choose faith.  My faith tells me that I can live my life without a guarantee of tomorrow, but with a guarantee of eternity.  And, given the choice, I'll take eternity over tomorrow!

So, I choose my faith that tells me there is evil in this world.  My faith that doesn't guarantee an easy life here, but guarantees my future.

If there were not sufferings on this earth, would we still yearn for Heaven?  This is not Heaven.  There is evil on this earth and there will be until He returns!

Pantry Purge

I've been pinning, reading, and researching like a mad woman!  I want to educate myself about what I am putting into and onto my body.

It's scary, folks.

Educate yourself.

Did you know that there are banned substances that the FDA allows in our foods?  If they are banned, why are they allowed?

Did you know that most major food companies pay scientists to find ways to make the food they seel more addictive? 

A friend of my recently directed me to a pin from www.rawforbeauty.com that you must see as well.

Here's  challenge: take this list and go to your pantry.  

Pull out the items you use most in your cooking.  See any of these ingredients?

Pull out your go-to snacks for you and your children.  See any?

Surprised to see sugar in EVERYTHING?

It's there!

Get rid of it.  I'm not kidding.

We've been eating mostly sugar free and fairly clean for a few months now.  Look how much more I had to get rid of.  I'll admit, some of it we haven't been eating, it was just sitting in there and I knew it had to go.  But, a lot of it was pretty shocking. 

The amount of HYDROGENATED and PARTIALLY HYDROGENATED OILS was the most shocking for me.

That's TRANS FATS, folks.  The stuff that isn't allowed anymore - it's still there!  It is allowed as long as it can be rounded down to zero on the nutrition label.

I call that a lie.

Don't tell me zero trans fats when you know it's in there.  They may think, "hey, it's .5 grams per serving" but they know most folks have more than a serving size at a time. 

And think on this: If I eat 4 items that have .5 trans fats in them in one day, I'm getting 2 grams of trans fats and my risk of heart disease, cancer, alzheimer's, etc.

Have I ranted enough yet?

I think you get the idea.  

Read the list.  Check your labels.

We Interrupt This Clean Eating for CAKE!

The hubs had a birthday.  Birthdays mean cake.  Cake means sugar and flour and lots of each!
So, out the window with clean, I made CARAMEL CAKE!
And it was amazing. When I say amazing, I mean my husband said,

"This tastes just like my great grandmother's caramel cake."

Hold the phones, people!  No sweeter words have ever been uttered!  He doesn't just say stuff like that!  As far as he is concerned, no cakes are ever as good as his ancestors' cakes.

Want to know how to make your husband this happy?

I found a recipe for Old Fashioned Caramel Cake from Random Thoughts of a SUPERMOM!  It looked like something I could handle and it didn't have any crazy ingredients in it (other than the processed sugar and flour - oopsies).

So, I gave her a whirl!

I baked my pound cakes and let them cool.  Then I cut each in half to make 4 layers total.

Then came the part that made me nervous...

the caramel.

This was scary because I knew it could scorch and ruin the whole thing.  I've never done with outside of the direct supervision of my mother (when she would usually take over).

But, I remained calm and worked through the instructions.

Beginning of the stirring until my arms hurt.

The temperature FINALLY got up to 230!

Then the fun part.  Stacking and pouring!

I think the birthday boy was pleased!  

I was so pleased as well.  When I tasted it, I was pretty impressed with myself.  It really wasn't that hard.  I would make this cake again, but only for the hubby!

Re-re-re-re-focusing

My last few posts have been about getting my mojo back, refocusing, and jump-starting myself.

Oops.

I haven't done it.  While I haven't completely fall off the wagon, but I'm barley hanging on with a pinkie finger.  I've exercised about once a week and I've let myself indulge on an almost daily basis.  I haven't stayed low-cal, clean, or even low-carb.

My eating habits are down the drain and so are my exercise habits!

After mentally beating myself up on daily basis and comparing myself to every successful fitness/weight-loss blogger and pinned out there, I have come to a realization.

There's no secret formula.  There isn't one perfect path that everyone should (or can) follow.  There are lots of paths that work for lots of people, but we are all different.

YOU MUST KNOW YOURSELF!

• What activities get your heart beating?  Do you LOATHE running but enjoy tennis?  Then don't run!!!  Go play some tennis!
• What makes you feel strong?  Free weights work for some, but if yoga makes your muscles burn, do some yoga!

What about food?  Does the thought of a Paleo diet make you want to eat an entire chocolate cake?  Then maybe Paleo isn't for you.  But, please don't eat a cake - unless you know what's really in there.

EDUCATE YOURSELF!

I've been reading a book called The End of Overeating.  I'm learning so much about how foods are engineered to become addictive.  You've probably heard the buzz words "obesogens" and "clean eating."  Obesogens are chemicals and processed ingredients in our foods that are making us fat.  Clean eating means you don't eat anything that is processed or unnatural.  I'm aware that this could be a fad, but I'm also making myself more aware of the research that backs these things up.

USE YOUR BRAIN

There are too many diets out there.  Most of them are fads and gimmicks.  If it is too good to be true, it is.  If it promises a rapid weight loss without changing your diet and exercise, it isn't going to work long-term and it isn't healthy.

Don't focus on the scale.  Focus on health and fitness.

If it isn't working for you, then try something else.  

Don't give up.

Ask for help.

That's my two cents - or whatever it's worth. I'm going to keep on keeping on and hope for the best!  This isn't about how I look compared to anyone else.  It isn't about how fast I reach my goal.  This is about treating my body like I would an expensive vehicle - take care of the engine, give it the best fuel, and shine up the exterior!

It's Too Hard

What do you do when somethings seems too hard?  Or when you feel like you aren't good at it?  Or when it seems you've done your best and it still isn't enough?

On my 2 mile run today, I had many thoughts of quitting running.

I feel like I've lost my passion and excitement for it.

And it's still hard.
So
    hard.

Then I got to thinking - every time I've been pushed or challenged in my life I've given up.

Don't get me wrong, I've been through a lot of hard times that I've really worked through, but that was because there was no other choice.  It was either push through or lose everything.

But, when the stakes aren't that high, I tend to give up.  I wasn't that great at dancing, so I quit.  I wasn't great at music, so I quit that.  I wasn't great at basketball, so I didn't try out when my friends did.

Why didn't I just try harder and enjoy the hard work?

Because then everyone would know I wasn't fabulous.  In my mind, not failing meant succeeding.  It doesn't mean that at all.  Not trying is a bigger failure!

Back to my running...I'm not a fabulous runner.  In fact, I'm a pretty terrible runner.  I'm slow and I'm pretty sure I look like Phoebe from behind.  (Friends fans will get that).
But I'm doing it!  I'm pushing through when it gets too hard.  I won't ever win a marathon.  I won't ever be the best runner on the trail.  But, I'm still a runner.  And I'm better than I was when I started!

So, when my legs are cramping, there's sweat dripping off of me, and it feels like my lungs may pop...I'll keep on running!
I've only got me to prove myself to!